Tag Archives: white-collar criminals

A dingbat ate my anchor baby!

Ann Cunter parodied on “Saturday Night Live” as a “manserpent”

Gee, I had thought that the cause of our nation’s problems were such parties as the corporations that evade billions and billions of dollars in taxes while we working people sure pay ours, the bloated-beyond-belief military-industrial complex that gobbles up billions and billions of our tax dollars in perpetual wars for the war profiteers while things literally crumble here at home, corporations that spill millions of gallons of oil into the ocean and then are defended by likes of Repugnican Tea Party candidate Ron Paul and Repugnican Big Oil bribe collector Rep. Joe Barton of Texas, and corporations that ran our economy into the ground through their hocus-pocus practices and then got hundreds of billions of dollars in bailout money, because it’s socialism only if needy people get any money. (Wait — according ot the wingnuts, corporations are people, right?)

Oh, and corporate-caused global warming.* 

But I was wrong.

The nation’s economic collapse has nothing to do with the greedy corporate criminals (a phrase that is redundant) who are responsible even for the melting polar ice cap.

No.

It’s the anchor babies.

You haven’t heard of an anchor baby?

Well, that’s because this dire threat to the nation was just discovered by the Repugnican Tea Party (only coinky-dinkily because elections are just around the corner, you fucking cynic).

Seriously, though, how does a dire problem just materialize?

OK, true, the British Petroleum oil spill — which the Repugnican Tea Party says is no big deal stop picking on BP whom we owe an apology because picking on BP is un-American — more or less just materialized, but anchor babies have been with us for a very long time.

“Anchor babies” are babies that non-U.S. citizens give birth to in the United States of America in order, the theory goes, for their parents to claim U.S. citizenship. And the babies’ births are paid for by us, the taxpayers.

Ann Cunter cares passionately about this new-found “issue,” which is the topic of her latest venomfest.

Seriously, though, Cunter has become a fucking caricature.

Just when you thought the acid-for-blood harpy couldn’t get any more evil and vile, now she (and her scaly ilk) are after the poor, brown-skinned people’s babies.

I repeat: Babies.

Again: Babies.

Because Jesus Christ clearly taught that we should persecute babies.

Cunter’s biggest problem with the brown-skinned babies probably is that she isn’t allowed to eat any of them. And I am pretty sure that her jaw detaches from her skull and that her fangs fold back, enabling her to swallow a baby whole.

But just remember, voter, in November, that the nation’s ills have nothing to do with the white-skinned white-collar criminals who have been bleeding this nation dry for decades. (In the past 30 years, since 1980, we’ve had a pro-rich, pro-corporate Repugnican in the White House for 20 of those years, and for the remaining years we’ve had a Repugnican-Lite, corporate-ass-kissing “Democratic” president running the show.)  

No, don’t go after the filthy few rich plutocrats who are so far fucking removed from the damage that they cause the masses that you never even see them.

No, with your torches and pitchforks, go after those brown-skinned anchor babies.

Babies.

Because babies, especially those born to poor, brown-skinned parents, can’t fight back, and it takes real fucking bravery — you know, those cojones that “tea party” princess Palin-Quayle recently was talking about — to attack the weak and the relatively defenseless.

Just like Jesus would do.

*Cold-blooded reptiles love the heat. Maybe that’s why the members of the Repugnican Tea Party love global warming so much…

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Can we start the civil war now, please?

Associated Press photo

Barack Obama, shown above during his Lincolnesque formal kick-off of his candidacy for president in February 2007 at the Old State Capitol in Springfield, Illinois, now finally concedes that with the Repugnican Party, “The day has passed when I expected this to be a full partnership.” Yup. Attempting bipartisanship with Repugnicans, who respect the results of the democratic process only when those results go their way, is bullshit and it’s time to open a can of blue-state whup-ass, because that’s all that the fucktarded red states can understand. 

They say that the Civil War even pitted family member against family member.

Yeah, I can see that.

My mother and I today exchanged some pointed e-mails about Arizona’s handling of its “illegal immigrants.” She still lives in Arizona, where I was born and raised and from where I escaped in 1998 to my new home state of California.

I haven’t set foot back in Arizona since I left it, and I don’t plan to any day soon.

In fact, I support boycotting Arizona, and I am delighted that my city of Sacramento is expected to add itself to the list of cities boycotting the racist, white supremacist state of Arizona.

In fact, today I saw Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson (himself also a former resident of Phoenix; he used to play for the Phoenix Suns) eating lunch outdoors here in Sacramento. I almost stopped and attempted to speak to him, but I didn’t want to disturb his lunch (he was eating with some other people). Instead I e-mailed him later that I support the boycott, even though he already leans toward it.  

My mother, on the other hand, apparently has imbibed the right wing’s Kool Aid that the nation’s ills have been caused primarily by the poor and powerless brown-skinned peoples from south of the border.

Gee, I didn’t know that the “illegals” were responsible for the nation’s economic meltdown. I’d thought that it was the mostly white white-collar crooks, such as the crew of Goldman Sachs, who did that.

Of course, the reason that the right wing pushes hatred of the “illegals” is not only because the “illegals” are powerless and poor, and can’t fight back, but because it’s a great diversion from the nation’s real enemies: the white-collar criminals, most of whom are Repugnicans and whom the Repugnican Party aids and abets.

I mean, for instance, who’s responsible for the oil that continues to fill the Gulf of Mexico? The Mexicans?

I’m beyond sick and fucking tired of the red-state bullshit. We have Alaska’s Repugnican Sarah “Drill, Baby, Drill!” Palin-Quayle now saying that President Barack Obama is too chummy with Big Oil; we have Arizona’s Borg Queen governor, Jan Brewer, Sen. John McCainosaurus, and McCainosaurus’ primary election opponent, J.D. Hayworth, all Repugnicans, of course, all trying to out-hate each other where it comes to the “illegals” for their personal political gain; and we have Kentucky’s Rand Paul saying that he disagrees with at least some of the 1964 Civil Rights Act and that criticism of British Petroleum is “un-American.”

While my mother is pontificating in her e-mails to me about how much the “illegals” are costing us, it’s funny, because not only do the billions of dollars in taxpayer-funded bailouts go to the corporatocrats, and not only do we, the people, also always end up paying for shit like the Vietraq War and the British Petroleum debacles — both of which Dick Cheney’s Halliburton has had an oily hand in — but Arizona itself is a welfare state.

As I noted in April 2009, Arizona gets back from the federal government about $1.20 for every dollar that it puts into the federal government.

My home state of California gets less than 80 cents for every $1 that it puts into the fed.

Palin-Quayle’s Alaska approaches two dollars back for every dollar that it contributes, and Rand Paul’s Kentucky gets about a buck and a half from the fed for every buck that it puts into the fed.

Yet here are these right-wing asswipes bitching and moaning about the evils of welfare when their states are sponging off of us blue states. The majority of the blue states get less from the federal government than they put into it, while the majority of red states get back more from the federal government than they put into it.

And they hate our president, too, primarily because he’s black.

Well, fuck off, red-staters, because 53 percent of Americans voted for Barack Obama, more than who ever voted for your precious George W. Bush in 2000 (less than a full 48 percent) or in 2004 (less than a full 51 percent).

I’ve had it with the right wing and the red states, and I’m ready for a second civil war.

Of course, the red states can prevent that and secede, and we blue states should fucking let them. They only drag us down anyway.

Texas, a.k.a. Bushland, whose Repugnican stupid-white-male governor already has raised the specter of secession, can be home to the New Confederacy’s capital. Texas, which loves to rewrite American history, would be the perfect headquarters for the coalition of states that don’t want to follow the wishes of the majority of Americans who voted for Barack Obama.

Speaking of whom, since Obama has compared himself to Abraham Lincoln — he formally announced his candidacy for president in Lincoln’s Springfield, Illinois, and he even was sworn in on the same Bible that Lincoln used (I saw the Bible when it was on display here in Sacramento as part of a Lincoln museum exhibit) — Obama could preside over the Second Civil War, if it comes to that. It would be fitting that the nation’s first black president should finish the red-state ass-kicking that Lincoln should have finished but did not.

If the secession of the racist red states won’t happen, I’m fine with another civil war.

I’m fighting fucking mad.

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