Tag Archives: white-collar crime

A dingbat ate my anchor baby!

Ann Cunter parodied on “Saturday Night Live” as a “manserpent”

Gee, I had thought that the cause of our nation’s problems were such parties as the corporations that evade billions and billions of dollars in taxes while we working people sure pay ours, the bloated-beyond-belief military-industrial complex that gobbles up billions and billions of our tax dollars in perpetual wars for the war profiteers while things literally crumble here at home, corporations that spill millions of gallons of oil into the ocean and then are defended by likes of Repugnican Tea Party candidate Ron Paul and Repugnican Big Oil bribe collector Rep. Joe Barton of Texas, and corporations that ran our economy into the ground through their hocus-pocus practices and then got hundreds of billions of dollars in bailout money, because it’s socialism only if needy people get any money. (Wait — according ot the wingnuts, corporations are people, right?)

Oh, and corporate-caused global warming.* 

But I was wrong.

The nation’s economic collapse has nothing to do with the greedy corporate criminals (a phrase that is redundant) who are responsible even for the melting polar ice cap.

No.

It’s the anchor babies.

You haven’t heard of an anchor baby?

Well, that’s because this dire threat to the nation was just discovered by the Repugnican Tea Party (only coinky-dinkily because elections are just around the corner, you fucking cynic).

Seriously, though, how does a dire problem just materialize?

OK, true, the British Petroleum oil spill — which the Repugnican Tea Party says is no big deal stop picking on BP whom we owe an apology because picking on BP is un-American — more or less just materialized, but anchor babies have been with us for a very long time.

“Anchor babies” are babies that non-U.S. citizens give birth to in the United States of America in order, the theory goes, for their parents to claim U.S. citizenship. And the babies’ births are paid for by us, the taxpayers.

Ann Cunter cares passionately about this new-found “issue,” which is the topic of her latest venomfest.

Seriously, though, Cunter has become a fucking caricature.

Just when you thought the acid-for-blood harpy couldn’t get any more evil and vile, now she (and her scaly ilk) are after the poor, brown-skinned people’s babies.

I repeat: Babies.

Again: Babies.

Because Jesus Christ clearly taught that we should persecute babies.

Cunter’s biggest problem with the brown-skinned babies probably is that she isn’t allowed to eat any of them. And I am pretty sure that her jaw detaches from her skull and that her fangs fold back, enabling her to swallow a baby whole.

But just remember, voter, in November, that the nation’s ills have nothing to do with the white-skinned white-collar criminals who have been bleeding this nation dry for decades. (In the past 30 years, since 1980, we’ve had a pro-rich, pro-corporate Repugnican in the White House for 20 of those years, and for the remaining years we’ve had a Repugnican-Lite, corporate-ass-kissing “Democratic” president running the show.)  

No, don’t go after the filthy few rich plutocrats who are so far fucking removed from the damage that they cause the masses that you never even see them.

No, with your torches and pitchforks, go after those brown-skinned anchor babies.

Babies.

Because babies, especially those born to poor, brown-skinned parents, can’t fight back, and it takes real fucking bravery — you know, those cojones that “tea party” princess Palin-Quayle recently was talking about — to attack the weak and the relatively defenseless.

Just like Jesus would do.

*Cold-blooded reptiles love the heat. Maybe that’s why the members of the Repugnican Tea Party love global warming so much…

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Can we start the civil war now, please?

Associated Press photo

Barack Obama, shown above during his Lincolnesque formal kick-off of his candidacy for president in February 2007 at the Old State Capitol in Springfield, Illinois, now finally concedes that with the Repugnican Party, “The day has passed when I expected this to be a full partnership.” Yup. Attempting bipartisanship with Repugnicans, who respect the results of the democratic process only when those results go their way, is bullshit and it’s time to open a can of blue-state whup-ass, because that’s all that the fucktarded red states can understand. 

They say that the Civil War even pitted family member against family member.

Yeah, I can see that.

My mother and I today exchanged some pointed e-mails about Arizona’s handling of its “illegal immigrants.” She still lives in Arizona, where I was born and raised and from where I escaped in 1998 to my new home state of California.

I haven’t set foot back in Arizona since I left it, and I don’t plan to any day soon.

In fact, I support boycotting Arizona, and I am delighted that my city of Sacramento is expected to add itself to the list of cities boycotting the racist, white supremacist state of Arizona.

In fact, today I saw Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson (himself also a former resident of Phoenix; he used to play for the Phoenix Suns) eating lunch outdoors here in Sacramento. I almost stopped and attempted to speak to him, but I didn’t want to disturb his lunch (he was eating with some other people). Instead I e-mailed him later that I support the boycott, even though he already leans toward it.  

My mother, on the other hand, apparently has imbibed the right wing’s Kool Aid that the nation’s ills have been caused primarily by the poor and powerless brown-skinned peoples from south of the border.

Gee, I didn’t know that the “illegals” were responsible for the nation’s economic meltdown. I’d thought that it was the mostly white white-collar crooks, such as the crew of Goldman Sachs, who did that.

Of course, the reason that the right wing pushes hatred of the “illegals” is not only because the “illegals” are powerless and poor, and can’t fight back, but because it’s a great diversion from the nation’s real enemies: the white-collar criminals, most of whom are Repugnicans and whom the Repugnican Party aids and abets.

I mean, for instance, who’s responsible for the oil that continues to fill the Gulf of Mexico? The Mexicans?

I’m beyond sick and fucking tired of the red-state bullshit. We have Alaska’s Repugnican Sarah “Drill, Baby, Drill!” Palin-Quayle now saying that President Barack Obama is too chummy with Big Oil; we have Arizona’s Borg Queen governor, Jan Brewer, Sen. John McCainosaurus, and McCainosaurus’ primary election opponent, J.D. Hayworth, all Repugnicans, of course, all trying to out-hate each other where it comes to the “illegals” for their personal political gain; and we have Kentucky’s Rand Paul saying that he disagrees with at least some of the 1964 Civil Rights Act and that criticism of British Petroleum is “un-American.”

While my mother is pontificating in her e-mails to me about how much the “illegals” are costing us, it’s funny, because not only do the billions of dollars in taxpayer-funded bailouts go to the corporatocrats, and not only do we, the people, also always end up paying for shit like the Vietraq War and the British Petroleum debacles — both of which Dick Cheney’s Halliburton has had an oily hand in — but Arizona itself is a welfare state.

As I noted in April 2009, Arizona gets back from the federal government about $1.20 for every dollar that it puts into the federal government.

My home state of California gets less than 80 cents for every $1 that it puts into the fed.

Palin-Quayle’s Alaska approaches two dollars back for every dollar that it contributes, and Rand Paul’s Kentucky gets about a buck and a half from the fed for every buck that it puts into the fed.

Yet here are these right-wing asswipes bitching and moaning about the evils of welfare when their states are sponging off of us blue states. The majority of the blue states get less from the federal government than they put into it, while the majority of red states get back more from the federal government than they put into it.

And they hate our president, too, primarily because he’s black.

Well, fuck off, red-staters, because 53 percent of Americans voted for Barack Obama, more than who ever voted for your precious George W. Bush in 2000 (less than a full 48 percent) or in 2004 (less than a full 51 percent).

I’ve had it with the right wing and the red states, and I’m ready for a second civil war.

Of course, the red states can prevent that and secede, and we blue states should fucking let them. They only drag us down anyway.

Texas, a.k.a. Bushland, whose Repugnican stupid-white-male governor already has raised the specter of secession, can be home to the New Confederacy’s capital. Texas, which loves to rewrite American history, would be the perfect headquarters for the coalition of states that don’t want to follow the wishes of the majority of Americans who voted for Barack Obama.

Speaking of whom, since Obama has compared himself to Abraham Lincoln — he formally announced his candidacy for president in Lincoln’s Springfield, Illinois, and he even was sworn in on the same Bible that Lincoln used (I saw the Bible when it was on display here in Sacramento as part of a Lincoln museum exhibit) — Obama could preside over the Second Civil War, if it comes to that. It would be fitting that the nation’s first black president should finish the red-state ass-kicking that Lincoln should have finished but did not.

If the secession of the racist red states won’t happen, I’m fine with another civil war.

I’m fighting fucking mad.

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It’s not kiddie porn when the kids do it

Suddenly, “sexting” is our nation’s largest “criminal” problem. No, better to go after the corrupt judges and the other white-collar criminals who are bankrupting our nation morally as well as financially and leave the kids the fuck alone.

So there is a trend now of charging minors with kiddie porn crimes when they post to the Internet or otherwise electronically post or exchange sexually explicit images of themselves (“sexting,” this is called).

This is bullshit.

Kiddie-porn laws were meant to protect minors from predatory adultsnot to prosecute kids who engage in sexually oriented behavior with other kids.

When I was a kid (I am 41, a member of Gen X), things like “playing doctor” were considered a normal part of growing up.

Today, overzealous assbites in the “criminal” “justice” system want to prosecute minors for behavior that used to be considered a normal part of growing up.

Gee, maybe it’s because we have a “criminal” “justice” industry that, just like the military industrial complex, has gotten waaaaay out of control.

Think I’m full of shit?

A 14-year-old girl in New Jersey has been charged with the possession of and the distribution of child porn for having posted to MySpace sexually explicit images of herself. A conviction could mean that she is branded a sex offender for life.

There’s big money in convicting minors of crimes — two corrupt judges in Pennsylvania recently pleaded guilty for having taken $2.6 million in payoffs to sentence juveniles to the private juvenile detention centers that were giving them their payola. (These privately owned detention centers should be shut down as soon as possible and those who bribed the judges need to be imprisoned for their felonious behavior, and detention centers should not be privatized — but that’s another blog post for another time.)

When I used to work at the California Youth Authority, processing paperwork for incoming youthful inmates, I saw many inmates (“wards,” they euphemistically were called) whose intake files indicated that they were being locked up for sexual behavior with other minors that, in my day, would have been considered rather normal sex play between or among minors.

It’s not about justice anymore (if it ever was about justice); now, it’s about making big money by locking up people (even minors), with even judges being on the take. (Really, what have the baby boomers who run the nation touched that they haven’t corrupted?)

I admire these teenagers who are fighting back against a “criminal” “justice” system that is out of fucking control (from The Associated Press):

Scranton, Pa. – One of three teens suing a Pennsylvania prosecutor says she does not want to be bullied by the district attorney, who threatened to charge the girls over racy cell-phone pictures.

Fifteen-year-old Marissa Miller said after a federal court hearing [yesterday] that she did nothing wrong when a friend took a picture of her and another girl in their bras.

Wyoming County District Attorney George Skumanick has threatened to file child pornography or open lewdness charges against the two girls unless they participate in an after-school program.

A girl photographed topless in a separate setting is also suing. The American Civil Liberties Union is seeking a temporary restraining order on their behalf.

The judge has not ruled on the request. Skumanick says he won’t take action until after the ruling.

Gee, is the district attorney getting payola from privately owned after-school programs? You have to wonder, don’t you? (And, as a Salon.com feminist columnist points out, an image of a young woman in a bra constitutes child porn? What about young women’s clothing catalogs? Those are now kiddie-porn magazines?)

If I were the parent of a teen, no, I would not be thrilled if he or she posted sexually explicit images of him- or herself to the Internet or otherwise exchanged such images electronically.

However, if I were a parent of a minor who was charged criminally or threatened with criminal charges for such behavior, I would be absofuckinglutely livid.

Child-porn and sex-with-minors laws were (and are) meant to protect minors from predatory adults.

Just because the worthless baby boomers are in charge of the nation and the boomers didn’t have certain technology when they were teens doesn’t mean that the sexual behavior of today’s teens is any worse than was the sexual behavior of the boomers when they were teens.

People who are ignorant of today’s technology get blinded by their technological ignorance and are unable and/or unwilling to see the underlying principles. The technology that they don’t understand renders them utterly unable to reason (not that their faculty of reason ever was sound in the first place).

The boomers would have been into “sexting” too had the technology been available to them. Duh.

And those (mostly baby boomers, very apparently) who illegally profit from abusing the “criminal” “justice” system — such as the corrupt baby-boomer judges (gee, that sounds redundant) in Pennsylvania who made millions — need to experience the “criminal” “justice” system themselves. They need to spend many years inside of  a prison cell (a prison cell that is not privately owned).

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