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Duuude! 2011 in Cali is going to ROCK!

So in November, I predict, not only will a majority of California’s voters put “Governor Moonbeam” back into office, but they will make marijuana legal in the state. And there’s the possibility that they will make it legal again for same-sex couples to wed.

It will be like the ’70s all over again.

Yes, the ’70s, the decade of free love and weed that I missed out on because I was born in 1968 and spent the ’70s first in day care (the boomers were such great fucking parents) and then in elementary school. When I finally was of partying age, I got — President Ronald Fucking Reagan. And AIDS.*

Don’t get me wrong — Repugnican California guv wannabe Nutmeg Whitman, a billionaire former CEO who never has held public office but wants to buy the governorship of the nation’s most populous state, must be brought down. We can’t act as though Jerry Brown already has won the election. We have to fight (… for our right … to paartaaay!**).

But when all is said and done, even if Nutmeg doesn’t make some major campaign-killing fuckup, I expect that the majority of California’s voters, hit hard by the economy brought to them by the Repugnican Party, aren’t going to vote for another fucking Repugnican to lead the state.

Megalomaniac wants us to believe that she’s great because she’s a billionaire. But a majority of Californians, I think, are much more resentful of what the super-rich have done to the nation and to the state than they want to emulate the plutocrats.

Plus, Nutmeg is fugly. She is. That shouldn’t matter in elections, but it does. Ask former Cosmo centerfold Scott Brown, who is, I believe, the only U.S. senator whose pubes I have seen. (I, um, rather doubt that a Nutmeg sex tape is going to surface… Although if one does, it’s probably sex that she had to pay for... And we know that she can afford the best that money can buy…)

And yesterday it was big news in the state that a ballot initiative to legalize marijuana in the nation’s most populous and greatest state has qualified for the November ballot. (I would have blogged on it yesterday, but I was too stoned. No, kidding — I was too tired after work yesterday to blog on it, actually.)

Anyway, The Associated Press reports:

The [ballot] initiative would allow those 21 years and older to possess up to one ounce of marijuana, enough to roll dozens of marijuana cigarettes. Residents also could grow their own crop of the plant in gardens measuring up to 25 square feet.

The proposal would ban users from ingesting marijuana in public or smoking it while minors are present. It also would make it illegal to possess the drug on school grounds or drive while under its influence.

Local governments would decide whether to permit and tax marijuana sales.

Proponents of the measure say legalizing marijuana could save the state $200 million a year by reducing public safety costs. At the same time, it could generate tax revenue for local governments.

A Field Poll taken in April found a slim majority of California voters supported legalizing and taxing marijuana to help bridge the state budget deficit.

My guess is that at least 55 percent of the voters will vote “yes” on the marijuana measure — and that many, many of us Californians will discover a new love for gardening.

(Of course, pot dealers aren’t happy about their impending business losses, but hey, they should have had a back-up plan anyway.)

Not only can the state sorely use the tax revenue from marijuana sales, but there is absofuckinglutely no reason to allow alcohol and tobacco to remain legal but not marijuana.

(My only concern is whether or not the feds will try to step in and block the legalization of marijuana in California like Cruella de Vil coming for the doobies — er, doggies. I haven’t researched that possibility yet.)

So I can envision a California with a Democratic governor again — and not just any Democratic governor, but Gov. Jerry Fucking Brown — and a state that has legalized marijuana, which should have been legalized long ago and which only those who decry a “nanny state” inconsistently hold should remain illegal.

OK, now I’m really going to do some California dreamin’ here:

There is an effort also to put same-sex marriage back on the November 2010 ballot, to reverse Proposition 8, which in November 2008 passed with only 52 percent of the vote. (You can sign the petition, and perhaps also collect petition signatures, by going here. The effort needs to collect a total of 1 million signatures of registered California voters by April 5, so you need to mail your signature[s] in quickly.) 

Now that the main pushers of Prop 8 — the Mormon cult and the pedophilic Catholick church, which bankrolled the last-minute multi-million-dollar pro-Prop 8 media blitz of homophobic lies — have been exposed, I surmise that same-sex marriage could pass this November, or no later than in November 2012.

The Public Policy Institute of California just released a poll that shows that 50 percent of Californians support same-sex marriage, with 45 percent opposed and 5 percent undecided. That’s good news, given that the multi-million-dollar campaign of lies induced 52 percent of the voters to vote down same-sex marriage in November 2008.

The Field Poll found a year ago that 48 percent of Californians then supported same-sex marriage, with 47 percent opposed and 5 percent undecided.

It seems to me that most of the undecideds will end up in the pro-same-sex-marriage column, as the haters already know that they’re haters, and I put the state’s haters at just under 50 percent (somewhere around 45 percent to 49 percent, tops).

My best guess is that if the issue were voted upon by California voters today, it would be a reversal of the November 2008 results, with around 51 percent to 52 percent for same-sex marriage and around 48 percent to 49 percent opposed.

Come January 2011, we Californians could be smoking (and even growing!) weed freely and marrying whom we wish to marry, under the wise and loving governance of Governor Moonbeam.

Hell yeah!

*No, I mean, I’m not HIV-positive, but before I could even think about getting it on with another dude, fucking AIDS burst onto the scene, ruining gay sex for me and my cohorts, who still can recall seeing images of AIDS victims who looked like concentration camp victims, and some of us, such as I did, as a hospice nurse, watched people die of the disease with our own eyes.

**Kidding! Mostly…

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Leave him alone

Updated February 7, 2009 (see below)

U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps pauses during an interview ...

Reuters photo

Michael Phelps (photographed last month above) apparently is not allowed to live a young man’s normal life because we own him because of his Olympic ability.

Although I love men’s swimming and diving (and men’s gymnastics, too — and wrestling is OK…), I didn’t follow the last Olympics and American swimmer Michael Phelps is doable enough, but I can’t say that I’ve ever been hot for him.

But 23-year-old Phelps, who has won a record 14 gold medals, shouldn’t have to live up to some arbitrary standard of “perfection” that the vast majority of the rest of us don’t live up to.

Apparently Phelps was photographed smoking (pot, presumably) from a glass pipe at a house party when he was visiting the University of South Carolina (and he might be criminally charged for this, although I don’t know how a photograph proves what it was that you actually were smoking or whether you were even really smoking anything at all; you could jokingly hold a pipe to your lips), and because of the pressure he has had to apologize for this.

The fact that marijuana should be legalized if alcohol and tobacco are legal completely aside, why should Phelps have to live up to some arbitrary standard of behavior?

I mean, fuck — is the man even allowed to masturbate?

Those who think that there is any connection between Phelps’ athletic achievements and his apparent desire to live the normal social life of a man of his age need to get a fucking life.

Update (February 7, 2009):

Salon.com’s Joe Conason wrote a piece on this topic for Salon.com dated Feb. 6.

Included is his piece is a link to the rather poor, rather boring photo of a barely recognizable Michael Phelps apparently with his mouth pressed to a glass bong.

“And after sporting chiefs announced laws which mean four-year bans for drug-taking, Phelps’ dreams of adding to his overall 14-gold-medal tally at the 2012 games in London could already be OVER,” the cheesy website that posted the photo boasts.

Yeah — boast about potentially destroying someone’s career for some harmless thing that he did in his off time. Phelps legally could drink and get much more messed up than he could on marijuana, but let’s see if we can ruin his career (and increase traffic to our website) because we have a photo of him apparently smoking some weed!

More interesting than the original Internet story on Phelps’ apparent party behavior — a story that is about as earth-shattering if we had learned that yes, indeed, Phelps does jack off — are the comments posted to it.

Apparently there are plenty of people out there who believe that Phelps “represents his country” and that he should be a “role model” for our youth.

Oh, fuck, Michael Phelps does not represent our country — any more than George W. Bush or Dick Cheney represented our country (the fact that they stole office in late 2000 entirely aside; and plainly they represented their fellow corrupt power- and money-mongering oligarchs and plutocrats, not the common American people).

Each of us represents him- or herself and anyone who believes otherwise is juvenile. People need to grow the fuck up and stop attaching their egos to the success or to the wrongdoings (real or perceived of others) who, they assert, “represent” them.

Unless you can swim like Phelps can, he did not represent you at the Olympics. He represented himself. At best, we can say that he represented his team of fellow American Olympians.

As far as the “role model” thing goes, you need to raise your own fucking children and not expect Michael Phelps or any other athlete to do that for you. And if you are a decent parent at all, you will realize that yes, your children, when they are Phelps’ age, probably will party, too. Get over it.

And further on the “role model” thing, where is all of the “role model” talk when we have people like George W. Bush and Dick Cheney stealing elections and creating bogus wars that result in the deaths of thousands and thousands of innocent civilians and in the wholly unnecessary deaths of thousands of our young military personnel and in the plundering of hundreds of billions of our tax dollars from the U.S. treasury by Cheney’s Halliburton and the other war-profiteering subsidiaries of BushCheneyCorp?

Gee, I think I’d much rather have my child smoke some weed than to commit treason.

Americans’ values and thinking are fucked up beyond all recognition to the point that they strain out teeny-tiny gnats while they swallow gargantuan fucking camels.

If this doesn’t change — now — this empire surely will go the way of the Roman and the British empires.

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