Tag Archives: non-heterosexuality

Cooper tarnishes his coming out with ‘no one else’s business’ business

Anderson Cooper arrives at the 39th Daytime Emmy Awards in Beverly Hills

Reuters photo

“The fact is, I’m gay, always have been, always will be, and I couldn’t be any more happy, comfortable with myself, and proud,” CNN anchor Anderson Cooper, who long had been rumored to be gay, proclaimed in his official coming-out e-mail that was released today. Cooper’s explanation for why it took him so long to come out, however, indicates some degree of internalized homophobia that perhaps even he isn’t aware of. (Cooper is photographed above at last month’s Daytime Emmy Awards in Beverly Hills.)

While I’m pleased that CNN anchor Anderson Cooper finally came out of the closet — and pleased with most of what he has stated in regards to his coming out, such as that “visibility [for non-heterosexuals] is important, more important than preserving my reporter’s shield of privacy” — damn, he just had to say just one “little” thing that, for me, tarnished it.

“In a perfect world, I don’t think it’s anyone else’s business, but I do think there is value in standing up and being counted,” he stated in his coming-out e-mail to his long-time friend the right-wing gay blogger Andrew Sullivan, who published the e-mail with Cooper’s approval.

While I agree with that latter part — that there is value in standing up and being counted as non-heterosexual, because otherwise some (presumably heterosexual) people might otherwise think that there really aren’t that many of us non-heterosexuals — what the fuck is “In a perfect world, I don’t think it’s anyone else’s business”?

Heterosexuals generally don’t assert that their sexual orientation is no one else’s business. Heterosexual celebrities (actors and other artists, politicians, TV news/“news” anchors, et. al.) generally have no problem being seen in public with and/or talking publicly about their opposite-sexed mates, if they have an opposite-sexed mate, whether they are married or not. They generally don’t take the stance that their heterosexuality is no one else’s business — because they aren’t ashamed of their heterosexuality.

Heterosexual journalists aren’t seen as violating some journalistic ethic if they let the world in on the “secret” that they are heterosexual, so why does Anderson Cooper essentially state, in his apparent justification for his having dragged his feet for so long in coming out of the closet, that he had thought that to do otherwise would have been unprofessional?

Why would a gay man assert that his homosexuality is no one else’s business, and why would a gay male journalist act as though divulging his sexual orientation would be unprofessional, unless, at least on some level and to some degree, he is ashamed of his sexual orientation?

True, whatever the silver fox Coop likes to do sexually (or whether he even has an active sex life at all) is none of our business. It’s none of our business if he’s a top or a bottom, if he spits or if he swallows or if he won’t allow a dick inside of his mouth at all, if he’s ever done anal or if he’s anal-phobic, if he’s chocolate or if he’s vanilla, whether he masturbates (of course he does) and if so, how and how often, etc., etc.

But if there is nothing wrong with being gay, as Cooper says he believes — he proclaimed in his coming-out e-mail:

It’s become clear to me that by remaining silent on certain aspects of my personal life for so long, I have given some the mistaken impression that I am trying to hide something —something that makes me uncomfortable, ashamed or even afraid. This is distressing because it is simply not true.

— why, then, the rather revealing counter-statement that “In a perfect world, I don’t think it’s anyone else’s business”?

Cooper has, I suspect, residual shame over his homosexuality, which, in such a homophobic and sex-shaming society, I can’t entirely blame him for — neither he nor none of us exists in a vacuum — but I would hope that all of us gay men and lesbians and other assorted non-heterosexuals and non-gender-conforming individuals do the self-examination that is necessary for us to identify the homophobia that we all too often carry, to some degree, within ourselves.

Most of us non-heterosexuals, I believe, have some degree of internalized homophobia, and it is worth it for us to identify it and to work to dig it up by its roots. But until we first identify it, we can’t eradicate it.

Yes, our sexual orientation is everyone else’s business. It is an important and a basic part of ourselves, of who and what we are.

To assert otherwise is to lie — to lie to others, and worse, to ourselves.

Man up, Coop — your sexual orientation, as mine and everyone else’s, always was, is, and always will be our business.

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‘It gets better’? How about ‘You are fabulous!’?

The recent rash of suicides by young men who had been taunted for being gay (or otherwise non-heterosexual) has taken me a bit by surprise.

First, while growing up in the backasswards red state of Arizona I always was keenly aware of homophobic sentiment all around me (and I still am aware of homophobia, although I encounter it much less often as an adult in the blue state of California), but never did I feel wrong or defective or dirty or sinful or any of the other negative, toxic things that the “Christo”fascists wanted me to feel. I always viewed them as the ones with the problem. Love is never wrong, and these bigoted dipshits were/are on the wrong side of history, I always have known.

It surprised me to learn over the years that other gay men haven’t had the same fortitude that I have had, that they haven’t been able to see, as I have been able to see, that while homophobia is shitty to have to endure, there’s nothing wrong with us non-heterosexuals. The fact that so many non-heterosexuals have internalized to some degree a belief that they are defective still surprises me at least somewhat.

Secondly, it long has been my impression that it’s much easier on today’s youth to be gay than it was back when I was young (I’m 42). I never contemplated suicide because of my sexual orientation, so it’s difficult for me to see why a young gay man of today* would go to the extreme of seriously contemplating suicide, unless, I suppose, his life were made a constant living hell by his tormentors. 

The recent suicide of the 18-year-old Tyler Clementi, a student at Rutgers University in New Jersey, is perhaps the strangest, or at least the most publicized, of the recent suicides of young gay men. Clementi jumped to his death after his roommate, unbeknownst to Clementi, captured a same-sex sexual encounter of Clementi’s and aired it on the Internet.

That would be embarrassing to anyone of any sexual orientation, to have a sexual encounter of his or hers aired on the Internet (unless he or she were an exhibitionist…), but added to the blatant invasion of privacy in Clementi’s case was the stigma of homosexuality.

As embarrassing as it would have been to have had one’s sexual encounter publicized as it was in Clementi’s case, I still can’t see that  embarrassment warranting one’s own death, but very apparently his own death seemed to make sense to Clementi.

I imagine that Clementi’s roommate feels like absolute shit, assuming that he has anything like a conscience. While Clementi’s roommate undoubtedly is guilty of invasion of privacy, whether or not he committed a hate crime is debatable, and whether or not he is guilty of manslaughter or the like is even more debatable, although it seems to me that it was not entirely unforeseeable that to embarrass someone as much as Clementi must have been embarrassed might lead the embarrassed individual to suicidal ideation.

Still, although he apparently committed a heartless act, it’s important that we not crucify Clementi’s roommate, in my estimation. One suicide of a young man in the case has been more than enough.   

In response to the recent suicides of young gay men, apparently, a YouTube channel called the “It Gets Better” project has been created, and features videos of non-heterosexuals telling their stories of how their problems related to their non-heterosexuality lessened over time. I surmise that it’s meant to encourage non-heterosexuals experiencing problems with homophobia to press on.

While that’s a good message, it seems to me that those of us non-heterosexuals who are struggling severely right now need to be reminded how fabulous we already are, whether the non-fabulous among us are able to recognize that or not, and regardless of how many non-fabulous individuals surround us. Indeed, we might be the only fabulous ones we know. But fabulousness is not about numbers. It’s not up for a vote. Fabulousness is about fabulousness.

So yeah, if you are fabulous and you keep the faith and you hang in there, it probably will get better as you learn to cope with being surrounded by so many who are so non-fabulous, but when you actually are contemplating suicide, perhaps promises that things will get better aren’t enough.

Those actively contemplating suicide aren’t thinking about the future so much as they are thinking about right now.

So again, it seems to me that what we need to do is to remind struggling non-heterosexuals how fabulous they already are — right now. Their first need is not promises of a brighter tomorrow, as accurate as those promises might be. Their first need is assistance in being able to see what they cannot see right now.

That happens best, I think, one on one. When we see someone struggling, that is an opportunity for us to help him or her to see the light that he or she cannot, at this moment, see. He or she might slap away our hand outstretched to offer him or her help — that’s always a risk when we extend ourselves to another — but he or she also might accept it. 

And we need to continue to improve the social environment, such as with the “Make It Better” project, which is about making our schools safer and saner for our non-heterosexual students.

And never underestimate what perhaps is our best tool for combating homophobia (and racism, too): Never allowing a homophobic (or racist) word or deed to go unchallenged. Social pressure is a powerful tool of social change, and silence kills, because silence in the face of wrongdoing only feeds that wrongdoing, as wrongdoers unchallenged come to believe that they are doing no wrong. 

And all of us, I think, are responsible for a social environment that allows so many individuals to be able to find suicide their only solution. Even those of us who don’t actively engage in homophobia, for instance, probably don’t do enough to combat it.

Suicide isn’t just an individual’s problem, but is our collective problem, and only when we work seriously to solve it collectively will we see suicides drop.

*When I was a high school student — indeed, even when I was a university student — openly having a boyfriend was not an option, unless I wanted to endure almost certain torment, and the plethora of gay-themed mainstream movies and television shows that exist today certainly didn’t exist back then. Non-heterosexuality is much more out of the closet these days than it was then.

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Global warming, nukes — and the baby boomers

It’s pretty fucking bleak.

Even as the fucktarded global-warming deniers claim that a cooler-than-usual day somewhere means that global warming is bullshit, the largest chunk of Arctic ice since 1962 — it’s four times the size of Manhattan — just broke away from northern Greenland, and the “ice island” is floating away, expected to reach the Atlantic Ocean within two years (it’s expected to have broken up and melted some by then).

Astrophysicist Stephen Hawking proclaims that humankind’s only chance for survival is to colonize other planets as overpopulation on Earth worsens and as humankind’s technological ability to wipe itself out increases.

We incredibly eco-friendly (because most of us are non-breeding) non-heterosexuals sure have a sound natural plan to reverse overpopulation, but we have to fight for equal human and civil rights not only here in the United States, but elsewhere throughout the world. Our opponents are fucktards who believe that the centuries-old dictate of God (who, by the way, lives on Fantasy Lane, right down the street from the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy) to “be fruitful and multiply” is still valid, even though the world’s population has exploded exponentially since the Old Testament was fabricated by utterly ignorant people all of those centuries ago.

But I digress a little.

While Hawking’s assertions that overpopulation and our own technological stupidity (such as the threats of global nuclear war and climate change) threaten to put Homo sapiens on the endangered species list are self-evident, I can’t say that I agree with him that the Homo sapiens virus should move on to infect other worlds.

Seriously — if humankind can’t get its shit together on this planet, what right does it have to attempt to inhabit any others? If a potential new landlord knew that you trashed your last apartment, would he or she allow you to move into his or hers?

But I digress yet again.

Solutions to overpopulation aren’t rocket science: Couples are limited to the number of children they may have, with penalties that are stiff enough to make violations of the law rare. Sterilizations (voluntary ones [for now…]) are offered for free. (Fuck you. We spay our cats and dogs!) Churches that advocate irresponsible reproduction, like the Mormon cult and the Catholick church, are sanctioned, because their irresponsibility and their recklessness harm the rest of us. (We’re all fucking connected, whether we like it or not and whether we wish to acknowledge that obvious fact or not.) Euthanasia for the hopelessly terminally ill is allowed and is not at all taboo. Homosexuality, of course, is wholly de-stigmatized so that those who gravitate toward it don’t hesitate to embrace it.

Then, here at home, there is the “Logan’s Run”-like problem of the baby boomers.

The boomers are going to be a huge fucking drain on us — if we let them be.

Already the boomers are talking about fucking us Gen X’ers and Gen Y’ers over even more than they already have.

Repugnican boomer House Minority Leader John Boehner again is talking about fucking us X’ers andY’ers (and those who follow them) out of our fair share of Social Security.

Boehner proclaimed on “Meet the Press” that it’s time “for the American people to have an adult conversation about the problems that we face” with the solvency of Social Security, adding that “these programs are unsustainable in their current form.”

Agreed — the boomers aren’t sustainable. Social Security, however, is.

Because of the boomers’ expected wiping out of Social Security, Boehner wants the Social Security retirement age to be raised for us Gen X’ers and Gen Y’ers — while the baby boomers get theirs and get out.

Boehner’s sidekick Repugnican U.S. Rep. Mike Pence echoed Boehner on “Meet the Press”: “I am for reforming our public entitlements for Americans who are far away from retirement. We need to keep promises to seniors that have been made, make sure that people who are counting on Medicare, Social Security have the benefits that they have. But for younger Americans, absolutely yes, we ought to bring real reform for the sake of future generations of Americans to get spending under control.”

Translation: The boomers get theirs, and Gen X and Gen Y get fucked — “for the sake of future generations.” It’s vitally important “to keep promises to seniors [translation: today’s boomers and those who are older] that have been made,” but it’s not at all important to keep those promises that have been made to us X’ers and Y’ers. Fuck us. We’re on our own.

Don’t expect the boomers to be another “greatest generation” — they fully expect those generations that follow them to suffer the consequences of their own selfishness, greed and refusal to plan for the future.

It’s true that we Americans face grave problems, and it’s true that it’s long past time that we face them.

But the boomers’ approach appears to be that the only solution is that Gen X and Gen Y and the generations that follow them should take it up the ass because of the boomers’ selfishness and woeful lack of foresight.

But what if we who follow the boomer generation don’t want to take it up the ass with ground glass as lube, as Boehner, Pence and their ilk so generously suggest that we do?

Fact is, whether we want to talk about Soylent Green or “death panels” and/or some other nifty solutions* to the baby-boomer problem or not, we’re not fucking going to have the resources to take care of all of these bloated, helpless, obnoxious, gluttonous boomers who look like the humans in the Pixar movie “WALL-E” (already we’re seeing these blubbery boomers in their motorized scooters at Wal-Marts throughout the land; surely these scooters are the precursors of the hovering lounge chairs in “WALL-E”) and who feel fucking entitled to be treated like royalty even though they never contributed shit, but were selfish their entire fucking lives, not even taking care of their own parents or their own children.

My boomer parents put me and my brother into daycare and with baby sitters — not because they had to do so because of economic necessity but because they didn’t want to be parents to their children. Parenting requires a degree of selflessness that the boomers, as a generation, don’t possess; they never did, they don’t, and they never will. (My fellow Gen X’er leftist Ted Rall explores this subject well in his book Revenge of the Latchkey Kids.)

And neither of my boomer parents took care of any of my grandparents, one of whom was put into a nursing home. So I really, really hope that neither of my parents expects me to just drop everything and cater to him or to her when my parents never stopped being selfish long enough to be there, really be there, for their own children or their own parents.

I remember, more than a dozen years ago, when baby-boomer author Marianne Williamson gave a talk in Phoenix, and when it came to question-and-answer time, I was the only one who stumped her. We were to bring up any community concerns of ours, if memory serves. I stated that as a nurse at that time, I couldn’t see how the system was going to be able to take care of the legions of dependent senior citizens (the baby boomers) we would see in the coming decades. She had no response to that problem, other than acknowledging that yes, indeed, it was (is) a looming problem.

Instead of searching for any solutions, apparently, Williamson would go on to write a syrupy, comforting book that calls baby boomers “middle-aged”** when, in fact, at age 42 I’m middle-aged, so how can the boomers, who are in their 50s and 60s, be middle-aged? (Uh, we don’t have many people living to be 100 and beyond, and age 50 is the midpoint to age 100…)

Williamson probably couldn’t answer my question all of those years ago because she apparently is a typical boomer herself — she doesn’t want to grow up, but indeed, tells her fellow Peter-Pan-like boomers that they are “middle-aged” when, in fact, they are senior citizens.

It’s true that the longer we put the conversation off, the harsher any actual solutions to the grave problems that confront us are going to become.

I don’t see that there is any serious national conversation about the looming baby-boomer problem today any more than there was when I brought the topic up to Marianne Williamson more than a dozen years ago.

And suggesting that the boomers fuck over my generation and those that follow mine even more than we already have been fucked over for our entire lives by the boomers*** is not a valid solution.

It’s true that the boomers have been abusing their power their entire adult lives, but as they get older and feebler, they’ll be less able to continue to fuck over those of us whom they were supposed to help and care about, not treat as competitors.

What are the boomers going to do when all we have to do is knock them out of their hovering lounge chairs and, like in “WALL-E,” they can’t even get up?

What if the latchkey children indeed get their revenge?

Well, at least the boomers have a little bit of time to prevent such unpleasant-for-them eventualities if, at long last, they fucking care to do so.

And while we’re dealing with the baby-boomer problem, we X’ers and Y’ers are going to have to deal with the problems that the boomers helped caused and have refused to deal with, such as climate change and nuclear proliferation.

And the boomers are going to have to be a part of the solution, whether they fucking want to be or not. While they have contributed to our problems their entire fucking lives, there can be no grandfathering of them now, the way that assbites Boehner and Pence and their baby-boomer boomer ilk want it to be.

We simply can’t fucking afford it, and we can’t afford the baby boomers, not the way that they are now.

*I am reminded of the Christopher Buckley novel Boomsday, in which baby boomers are invited by a wildly popular Gen-Y blogger to kill themselves for the greater good. I have that book and I really should read it…

**I bought her book The Age of Miracles: Embracing the New Midlife thinking that she was talking about those of us who actually are in midlife; instead, it’s a saccharine pep rally for baby boomers to tell them that they’re actually in midlife when, in fact, they’re senior citizens.

**We Gen X’ers and Gen Y’ers and those who follow us have a record federal budget deficit as well as global warming to contend with once the last baby-boomer asshole (redundant) finally has keeled over, and our military adventurism for the profits of the corporatocrats has made us hated throughout the world (especially in the Middle East), creating resentments from abroad that will continue to simmer and sometimes boil over for generations. And by necessity we X’ers and Y’ers are going to have to dismantle the bloated-beyond-belief war machine, something that the baby boomers, with all of their posing about being all about peace in the Sixties, never did, but only enlargened.

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Assorted shit (Under the Sea Edition!)

Free Willy (before he kills again!)

In this photo taken on Dec. 30, 2005, Dawn Brancheau, a whale ...

In this photo taken on Dec. 30, 2005, Dawn Brancheau, a whale ...

Associated Press photos

So today’s big news story is that a 40-year-old female trainer at SeaWorld in Orlando, Fla., was attacked and killed by a killer whale in front of a horrified audience. (She is pictured above in 2005.)

What part of killer whale don’t people get? Ever seen what the orcas do to seals?

Anyway, the bottom line is that cetaceans belong in the ocean.

They don’t belong in aquariums or theme parks.

Their captivity should be illegal.

Not (just) because of today’s event in Orlando, but because it’s fucking cruel to take a creature that needs the wide open ocean and put it in a fucking fish tank.

Corporations shouldn’t be allowed to profit obscenely from what amounts to animal cruelty.

You should watch the Oscar-nominated documentary “The Cove,” in which the trainer who trained the dolphins for the television show “Flipper” states that all that he can conclude from his years of working with dolphins is that cetaceans should not be held in captivity.

SeaWorld and others who keep cetaceans in captivity suck.

P.S. I hope that the killer whale involved in today’s incident is not killed, but is released back into the wild, if it would survive in the wild. The killer whale should not be given the death sentence when it never fucking should have been in captivity anyway.

What’s long and hard and full 0f — women?

The U.S. Navy plans to allow women to serve on submarines, The Associated Press reported yesterday.

Fuck; I’d assumed that women already were serving on subs.

Why haven’t they been?

“The thinking was that the close quarters aboard subs would make coed service difficult to manage,” the AP notes.

Sounds like the anti-gay “argument.” (Can’t let those homos be around other males in such close quarters!)

I seriously hope that those who serve in the U.S. military are far more evolved than are the stupid old white men who make all of the decisions for the military.

No one should be having sex while they’re on duty anyway. Male or female, straight or gay or bisexual — it doesn’t matter. You draw a line between on-duty activity and off-duty activity. And, arguments about how gay male couples reportedly historically were quite the effective warriors aside, those working closely together in the U.S. military probably shouldn’t be sexually involved with each other anyway, regardless of their biological gender or sexual orientation. So what’s the big fuss?

It’s more about antiquated, Victorian views on sexuality (Sex BAD!) than it is about anything else. 

One day the U.S. military will be like it’s portrayed in the grisly sci-fi movie “Starship Troopers,” in which males and females even shower together because no one gives a fuck.

Schwarzenegger: ‘Tea party’ will terminate

(Come on, now. I couldn’t get three ocean-related items on the same day…)

Repugnican California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger might need to get checked out for Tourette’s Syndrome, because he just can’t shut up lately.

In this case, though, it’s a good thing.

Already having blasted his fellow Repugnicans for opposing the Obama administration’s economic stimuli and desire for health-care reform, Schwarzenegger now says that the “tea party” “movement” will “twinkle and disappear” after the nation’s economy recovers from having been raped up the ass by the unelected Bush regime with ground glass as lube (OK, so that last part is a wild paraphrase…).

Schwarzenegger also remarked on how long it takes to turn the Titanic back around:

“Well, to give you an example, in 2008 we passed redistricting reform [in California]. Do you see any effect of it today in California? Absolutely not. It’s two years later and we still see no effect because the district lines will be drawn in 2010 now and they would have an effect maybe in 2012, a little effect. In 2014, then you will see more effect. You don’t go and have changes like that and have an effect from one day to the next….

“It doesn’t happen. Sometimes those things take a long time….

“To move government, to move this big thing, it’s like the Titanic….

“I think that the most important thing, no matter what state you’re in, or if you’re in charge of the federal government … is creating jobs and bringing the economy back. That’s the most important thing right now.”

Exactly. BushCheneyCorp didn’t destroy the nation overnight, and so the nation isn’t going to recover overnight.

That’s in stark contrast to the what Tea Party Princess/Queen Sarah Palin-Quayle and her fucktarded illk are saying, that the state of the nation is all Barack Obama’s fault because he’s been president for a whole year now

A co-worker of mine today posited that Schwarzenegger, who will be termed out of office in less than a year, is angling for a post in the Obama administration. It’s a plausible explanation. It’s that — or Tourette’s… 

I’m Aiken for more gay celebs to help their tribe

Figure skater Johnny Weir of the United States speaks during ...

Associated Press photo

I took a lot of shit for having said recently that flaming figure skater Johnny Weir (pictured above apparently making air quotes at a press conference today in Vancouver) should just come out of the closet already.

I took a lot of shit from (presumedly straight) women, too.

But you know, straight women get to love men without any stigma, so I guess that I don’t need to hear any lectures from them about what it’s like to be a gay man. Sorry, but no, not sorry.

And people still don’t get the idea of privacy. Again: we don’t need the details of Weir’s sex life. I never asked for them and I don’t want them. And I’m perfectly OK without seeing a leaked Johnny Weir same-sex sex tape.

But how about being of service to other non-heterosexuals by being proudly out? What’s wrong with using one’s status as a public figure to do some good in the world, to give others the courage and the inspiration to be who they are instead of being ashamed of it and/or trying to hide it?

Gay singer Clay Aiken (of “American Idol” fame), along with newly out lesbian actress Meredith Baxter (most known for her role of the mother in “Family Ties”), is scheduled to speak at a gay-rights event in Raleigh, N.C., this weekend.

It doesn’t have to be one extreme or the other — that you stay in the closet or that you become the “poster boy” for the gay-rights movement. Aiken doesn’t seem interested in becoming such a “poster boy,” but nonetheless he can find the time to make a pro-gay public appearance. Good for him.

It is a sad statement on the selfishness of Americans, and how much Americans are OK with the suppression of the truth (such as the truth of one’s sexual orientation, which there is no reason to suppress unless indeed it is shameful to be non-heterosexual), that I took so much shit for suggesting that Johnny Weir do some good for his tribe.

We’re all in this together, and no fag is an island.

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