Tag Archives: Maggie Gallagher

(Revised:) Mike Huckabee wins the White House!

Repugnican Tea Party douchebag Mike Huckabee announced last night that he isn’t running for president in 2012, but since he’s busy helping to rewrite U.S. history in order to indoctrinate the youngins, hell, he can just write right now that he won the 2012 presidential election and that he was the nation’s Best! President! Ever!

Many others have covered Huckabee’s participation in the selling of really bad cartoons on “American history” for home-schooled kids (such as here and here, and Rachel Maddow has covered it too). The cartoons are so fucking bad that they appear to be parodies by the creators of “South Park,” but oh, they’re not parodies…

The episode that predictably deifies Ronald Reagan (which notes, among other things, that “he worked against Communism in Hollywood” [not that he was a McCarthyite]) has this nice little image:

051211huck.jpg

Yes, that appears to me to be a knife-wielding, menacing mulatto. In the video he apparently commands the good little white kids (who have access to a time machine, but of course as long as we’re still anti-science we’ll never get to that point): “Give me your money!” Subtle!

(If I had written the little video, I might have had the good little white kids retort: “First show us your birth certificate!”)

The Orwellian right-wing attempt to rewrite U.S. history is nothing new. Glenn Beck has the online “Beck University,” and its home page proclaims, “LEARN REAL AMERICAN HISTORY.” (Also on the home page is a link to a nice little video of Glenn titled “Presidents You Should Hate,” because Glenn’s a good little Mormon boy and God wants him to hate and to tell you whom to hate [you have to subscribe to the website to get Glenn’s God-given insight, though…]).

One of “Beck U”’s “professors” — and all of his “professors” appear to be middle-aged to old white men, shockingly — is David Barton, a white wingnut who has thought himself qualified enough to write on rewrite black American history:

I’m thinking that maybe Anita Bryant should write a book on gay and lesbian American history. Perhaps Maggie Gallagher could take some time out of her crusade against marriage between any two consenting adults to be a co-author of the enlightening, setting-the-record-straight (wink wink) historical account.

The radical-right-wing attempt to rewrite U.S. history is chilling, but while I don’t want to underestimate the radical right’s harm to the nation and to the world, I can’t see a day when their “history” ever becomes mainstream. True, our mainstream U.S. history taught to public schoolchildren is whitewashed as it is, more or less teaches our children that the U.S. never can do any wrong (even the many, many episodes of the oppression of minorities are portrayed as just little potholes in the Road to Freedom, you see), but Huckabee’s and Beck’s brand of U.S. “history” is highly unlikely to make it very far outside of its apparent target audience of home-schooling parents.

One child who is home-schooled in wingnuttery is a tragic loss — not only will the successfully brainwashed child be unable to function in a world in which his or her backasswards beliefs are in the minority, but the world will have lost a fully functional human being — but the percentage of parents who would expose their children to stupid white male propaganda thankfully remains small. Most parents want their children to be well-adjusted, functional, productive adults.

Anyway, Huckabee, former Arkansas governor and a former Southern Baptist pastor, has indicated that God doesn’t want him to run for president, but I think that even Huckabee, as off of his rocker as he is, knows that his ilk is a dying breed and that he can’t win the White House. White people who hate non-whites, non-“Christians,” non-heterosexuals and non-Americans and who believe that women should be subservient to men are finding it increasingly difficult to succeed on a national political stage because their numbers are decreasing.

The Internet, too, while it contains a lot of garbage, also has made it increasingly difficult for stupid white men and their supporters to keep the masses ignorant by keeping information unavailable to them. The wingnuts no longer can stem the flow of information as easily as they have in the past.

The wingnuts can put all of the revisionist books and videos out there that they want. I wish them luck in “protecting” their offspring from being exposed to what the saner members of the much larger world believe. This is exactly what they want to do, of course, and thus, home-schooling.

This is, of course, the largest logical weakness of such oppressively closed systems: If the system is so accurate, so true, so right, then why must it shut out the rest of the world? Why must it be so encapsulated?

Anticipating this question from the home-schooled kiddies, apparently, one of Huckabee’s “history” cartoons has one of the kiddie characters declaring (at the triumphant end of a cartoon on World War II): “What we see in here [in their time-machine travels] isn’t always the same as what we read in books or see on TV. So what? We know the truth, and that’s good enough for us!”

Wow. That says so much more than I could continue to say right now.

But I will say good fucking riddance to Mike Huckabee, who never will be president of the United States of America* — except perhaps in his really bad propagandistic cartoons for the kiddies.

*The Associated Press notes:

Ed Rollins, who chaired Huckabee’s 2008 [presidential] campaign and had been talking with fundraisers about a 2012 Huckabee bid, said it would be difficult [for Huckabee] to find another opportunity like this.

“It was all there for him,” Rollins said.

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The (semi-)new(d) faces of the remnants of the Repugnican Party

FILE -  In this Oct. 30, 2008 file photo, Samuel 'Joe The Plumber' ...

Associated Press photo

Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher of Ohio — a.k.a. “Joe the Plumber” — speaks at a rally for Repugnican presidential candidate John McCainosaurus in Ohio in late October. “Joe the Plumber” says that it’s perfectly OK to refer to non-heterosexuals as “queer,” which sure makes you wonder what his words for black people and other assorted people are. “Joe the Plumber,” who just might be named the next pope, also recently pontificated, “God is recognized as, if you will, America’s religion.” So not only is God not a deity, but is a religion, but the United States of America has a national religion, and that religion is called “God.” I have learned so much from “Joe the Plumber”!

So who do the Repugnicans and the wingnuts have now to inspire a new generation of young people?

Well, not counting Sarah “Fahrenheit 451” Palin-Quayle, they have Carrie “No Offense!” Prejean and “Joe ‘Some of My Best Friends Are Queer but I Wouldn’t Let Them Anywhere Near My Children’ the Plumber.”

Miss California Carrie Prejean, the 21-year-old breast-enhanced bimbo who decided to become a poster girl for the homo-hating National Organization for Marriage after stating during the Miss USA pageant that she opposes same-sex marriage (adding: “No offense!”), probably is going to be stripped of her crown, thank Goddess.

It’s not for the right reasons, really, but I like the probable result anyway.

Reports The Associated Press today:

The directors of the Miss California USA pageant are looking into whether title holder Carrie Prejean violated her contract by working with a national group opposed to same-sex marriage and by posing semi-nude when she was a teenage model.

Pageant spokesman Roger Neal said [yesterday] it appears Prejean has run afoul of several sections of the 12-page contract that all prospective contestants were required to sign before competing in the November state contest.

The detailed document prohibits the titular [titular — that’s great…] Miss California from making personal appearances, giving interviews or making commercials without permission from pageant officials.

In the last 10 days, Prejean has made televised appearances at her San Diego church and on behalf of the National Organization for Marriage, a group opposed to same-sex marriage.

The contract also contains a clause asking participants to say whether they have conducted themselves “in accordance with the highest ethical and moral standards.” As an example, it asks if they have ever been photographed nude or partially nude.

“As you can see from the contract, she violated multiple items,” Neal said in an e-mail to The Associated Press.

A photo of Prejean wearing only pink panties with her back turned to the camera appeared Monday on the gossip blog theDirty.com.

[Here it is:

 ] 

[Prejean] issued a statement early [yesterday] saying she posed for the shot when she was a 17-year-old model [oh, she was a minor — that makes it better!] and objected to its release as an attempt to belittle her religious faith: “I am a Christian, and I am a model. Models pose for pictures, including lingerie and swimwear photos.”

Prejean spokeswoman Melany Ethridge said she could not comment on the contract because she was unfamiliar with its contents. Ethridge said she had not heard the pageant directors were reviewing it.

Prejean, a San Diego native who attends San Diego Christian College, was named the first runner-up to Miss North Carolina in the Miss USA pageant April 19. Her response to a question during the pageant that she opposed same-sex marriage made her a media sensation, darling of religious conservatives and the target of embarrassing disclosures.

Her post-pageant activities also have estranged her from the two directors of the state pageant, who under the terms of the contract have almost unlimited control over Miss California’s activities, including the right to revoke her crown for breaching its provisions.

On the day last week that Prejean was in Washington with National Organization for Marriage leaders to announce her support for a new advertisement the group created based on her pageant experience, Keith Lewis, co-director of the California contest, expressed concern.

“There is a contract that all participants sign that is very involved and very intricate and limits a lot of their activities,” said Lewis, a Los Angeles talent agent.

Meanwhile, the Miss Universe Organization, which also owns the Miss USA pageant, confirmed [yesterday] that it had sent a letter demanding the National Organization for Marriage to remove the Prejean spot from the air and the group’s website. It includes footage from the April 19 pageant.

The Miss Universe Organization “neither sanctions nor disapproves of the viewpoints expressed in the advertisement but cannot allow its copyrighted material to be used without permission to support the National Organization for Marriage’s political agenda and fundraising efforts,” organization President Paula Shugart said.

NOM executive director Brian Brown said the group did not plan to comply with the pageant’s request. [Good; I hope that the Miss Universe Organization sues NOM and wins.]

“It is clearly fair use, and all they are attempting to do is silence us by using false legal claims,” Brown said. “But they have another thing coming if they think these ads are coming down. None of us are relenting, least of all Carrie.”

NOM President Maggie Gallagher also issued a statement [yesterday] sympathizing with Prejean over the release of her modeling picture and saying it did not disqualify her as a traditional marriage advocate.

“Of course Carrie is not perfect,” Gallagher said. “On a personal note, as a former unwed mother, I want to say to Americans: You don’t have to be a perfect person to have the right to stand up for marriage.”

Gallagher, with whom I exchanged hostile e-mails years ago over an ignorant, bigoted, homo-hateful column that she wrote, sorely needs to go fuck herself. Of course she states that “You don’t have to be a perfect person to have the right to stand up for marriage.” Because being a homo-hating wingnut is all about being a fucking hypocrite.

Thankfully, Prejean, being the genius that she is, very apparently blatantly has violated the terms of her contract with the Miss California organization, which allows the organization to strip Prejean — who gives California, the Miss California organization, the Miss USA organization and the Miss Universe Organization all a bad name — of the title of Miss California without having to use her homo-hatred as the reason, whether it’s the reason or not.

Of course, there is no doubt that Prejean and her new fascist buddies at NOM nonetheless will cry that she’s a martyr for the “cause” of stripping non-heterosexuals of their equal human and civil rights.

Speaking of homo-haters, “Joe the Plumber,” the darling of the McCainosaurus-Palin-Quayle campaign and the remants of the Repugnican Party, if you haven’t heard by now, told Christianity Today that “queer” is a perfectly appropriate, acceptable term for non-heterosexuals. And that he loves his “queer” friends but that they know that he wouldn’t allow them anywhere near his children.

From the interview with “Joe the Plumber” in Christianity Today:

Christianity Today: In the last month, same-sex marriage has become legal in Iowa and Vermont. What do you think about same-sex marriage at a state level?

“Joe the Plumber”: At a state level, it’s up to them. I don’t want it to be a federal thing. I personally still think it’s wrong.

People don’t understand the dictionary — it’s called “queer.” “Queer” means “strange and unusual.” It’s not like a slur, like you would call a white person a “honky” or something like that.

You know, God is pretty explicit in what we’re supposed to do — what man and woman are for. Now, at the same time, we’re supposed to love everybody and accept people, and preach against the sins.

I’ve had some friends that are actually homosexual. [Actual homosexuals in Ohio!] And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they’re people, and they’re going to do their thing.

Nice!

You know what? I wouldn’t want a “Christo”fascist like “Joe the Plumber” anywhere near my children (if I had any, I mean, of course) or any child, lest his “Christian,” “family” “values” rub off on them and they grow up to be skinheads or the like.

The “states’ rights” “argument” that “Joe the Plumber” employs was used by the white supremacists in the South; they figured that it was better to have at least some states in which it was still OK to shit and piss upon blacks. No, you don’t leave the matter of equal human and civil rights up to each state. Equal human and civil rights for all Americans must be federally protected. 

And memo to Joe: The term “queer” is hate speech when used by a homo-hater, most fucking certainly is a slur as much as are such words as “faggot” or “dyke” or “nigger” or “coon” or “chink” or “Jap” or “spic” or “wetback” or  “raghead” or “Hajji” or “Macaca” or “kike” or “cracker” or yes, “honky.”*

That the wingnuts are using dumbfucks like “Joe the Plumber” and Miss California to appeal to our youth is a great thing, since the majority of our youth oppose the hatred, bigotry and ignorance that Prejean and the plumber stand for.

I think that Human Rights Campaign President Joe Salmonese probably had it right when he remarked of “Joe the Plumber’s” remarks about non-heterosexuals: “It would matter if ‘Joe the Plumber’ mattered. One thing among many things we learned in the 2008 campaign is that he doesn’t.”

True, but we can’t assume that the “Christo”fascist beast is dead.

In the same interview with Christianity Today, “Joe the Plumber” named Sarah “She-Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing” Palin as an idol of his:

Christianity Today: Who do you see as the emerging leaders for the Republican Party?

“Joe the Plumber”: There isn’t one.

You got the RNC [Repugnican National Committee] talking about repackaging principles and values to make them hip and cool to the younger generation. You can’t repackage them. They are what they are. You can’t make what they are.

I like Sarah Palin a lot, actually. I just don’t know if that’s where God’s leading her. I just know the Republican Party’s done its best to blackball her. I don’t know what her agenda is. If she ran, would I vote for her? Absolutely. John McCain was the lesser of two evils.

Would Americans ever be dumb enough to allow Sarah Palin-Quayle or someone like her into the White House? They did, after all, allow George W. Bush into the White House…

*Even though, as an Anglo, it seems to me that terms for white people like “cracker” or “honky” aren’t as severe (and certainly aren’t as numerous) as are the slurs for black people; “whitey,” I think, is worse than “cracker” or “honky,” but even “whitey” pales in comparison (bad pun fully intended) to such terms as “spade” and “sambo” and “jigaboo” and “jungle bunny.”

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