Tag Archives: Jon Stewart

Eddie Munster vants to suck our blood

Putting yourself in the public spotlight is risky. You might succeed spectacularly. Or you might have Jon Stewart remarking of you on his show that he didn’t know that “Eddie Munster grew up to be a J.C. Penney catalog model.”

Indeed, Repugnican Tea Party U.S. Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin, with his widow’s peak, indeed resembles the little Munster —

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— which at least one individual pointed out as early as January.

But worse than being compared to Eddie Munster would be being compared to vampiress Sarah Palin, and I have the feeling that Paul Ryan is going the way of Sarah Palin: an individual in his or her 40s with presidential aspirations who isn’t all that bad on the eye but whose wingnutty policies are for shit and who just isn’t ready for political prime time.

As I have noted, very apparently the Repugnican Tea Party thought that they could put Paul Ryan’s pretty face on their wet dream of privatizing (and thus destroying) Medicare and ensuring that the rich and the super-rich never pay their fair share of taxes again — and that Paul Ryan alone was enough lipstick to put on that monster pig.

But thus far, the majority of Americans apparently would prefer to keep Medicare intact and to make the rich and the super-rich pay up rather than to gush all over Paul “He Works Out, You Know!” Ryan.

But Rep. Ryan apparently thinks that he’s some hot shit, taking on the president.

In case Ryan didn’t notice, his Gov. Scott “Dead Man” Walker-like tactics aren’t going over very well in his own home state right now, so why does he believe he has a strong political base from which to take on Barack Obama?

The uber-cocky Ryan has accused Obama of being a “campaigner-in-chief” for publicly having taken exception to Ryan’s plan to destroy Medicare and to make the rich richer, and indeed, Ryan is brazenly denouncing everyone who doesn’t embrace his so-called “path to prosperity” that gives the rich and the super-rich even more tax breaks while soaking the working class, the middle class and the poor even more than they have been soaked over the past several decades. (So it is a “path to prosperity” — just not our prosperity!)

And it’s ludicrous to hear Ryan accuse Obama of being political, when of course Ryan is being at least as political, and, as they are both politicians engaging in politics, of course they’re being political. (Of course, the charge that the other side is being “political” isn’t meant to denote that the other side is engaged in the struggle for power, which is the very definition of engaging in politics, but is meant to connote that the other side is being unreasonable, that of course the other side would agree with your very reasonable proposal(s) if he or she would just be reasonable instead of “playing politics.”)

On the heels of calling Obama political (in a bad way), Paul “I’m Rubber and You’re Glue” Ryan announced that Obama’s denunciation of his plan to destroy Medicare and further enrich the rich has only strengthened the Repugnican Tea Party’s support of Ryan’s plan in the U.S. House of Representatives.

Oh, please. The stupid white men who comprise the majority of the Repugnican Tea Party traitors in the House of Representatives support Paul Ryan over Barack Obama? Shocker!

Paul Ryan’s idea of destroying Medicare and enriching the rich isn’t “bold” or the like. It’s a colossally shitty idea is what it is. Not only is it horrible public policy (and, I will add, anti-Christian) to allow the wealth care profiteers to shamelessly profit even further from Americans’ pain and suffering via the bloated wealth care-industrial complex, but to attack Medicare is as politically smart as it was for George W. Bush to attack Social Security.

Nor is it OK to assure current oldsters that they’ll be OK, but that the rest of us are fucked where Medicare and/or Social Security is/are concerned. I’m 43 years old and I’ve been paying into Social Security and Medicare since my teens, and I want both benefits, fuck you very much, Mr. Ryan; you’re not going to fuck me up the ass — no matter how much you look like a J.C. Penney catalog model.

Cutting the bloated-beyond-belief budget of the military-industrial complex and making the rich and the super-rich pay their fair share of taxes, as I have noted, will keep afloat Medicare, Social Security and other government programs that benefit the majority of the American people instead of further enrich the rich.

So of course Ryan’s “path to prosperity” — his own prosperity and that of his right-wing ilk, not yours and mine — does not include cutting the “defense” budget or making the rich and the super-rich pay their fair share of taxes.

Which demonstrates that he’s not serious about resolving the federal budget deficit. He’s serious about making the rich richer and the poor poorer. He’s a radical-right-wing ideologue, not a problem solver, especially since his proposed “solutions” would make the problems worse, not better.

Unfortunately, Ryan seems to represent a reliably red congressional district. He won his seven two-year House terms with an average of 64 percent of the vote, so he probably would be very difficult to unseat, even in Wisconsin, in which the Repugnican Tea Party is under fire right now.

However, Ryan’s deceptively titled “path to prosperity” can be relegated to the dustbin of U.S. history, where it belongs, and hopefully, he’ll never rise any higher than the U.S. House of Representatives, where he essentially is just a saner-seeming version of Michele Bachmann.

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Don’t be fooled: Repeal of DADT is just a scrap of a scrap

So today the U.S. Senate voted 65 to 31 to repeal the woefully misguided and unconstitutional “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that then-President Billary Clinton got into law in 1993. The U.S. House of Representatives had already voted to repeal DADT by a vote of 250 to 175, and President Barack Obama is expected to sign the law repealing the policy.

But we progressives and non-heterosexuals need to resist the urge to feast on this latest scrap of a scrap that has been thrown to us by the powers that be and put this in perspective: Discrimination based upon sexual orientation never should have been written into the law in the first fucking place. No one deserves a fucking medal for putting an end to what never should have been initiated.

Nor is it a “victory” for non-heterosexuals to be allowed to serve openly in a corrupt U.S. military that has been about war profiteering and enabling corporate global expansion, not about national defense, for several decades now. The last justified war that the U.S. military fought was World War II, a point that even my uncle, who is a contractor for the bloated U.S. military, freely admits.

Instead of fighting for equality within a toxic, dysfunctional, bloated institution that is destroying our nation, bleeding it to death — and certainly not making us “safer” when our military (mis)adventures in the Middle East, for instance, are making us more enemies, not fewer — non-heterosexuals should be fighting against the continued existence of that evil institution instead of fighting to be able to openly aid and abet it.

Nor is it as if the powers that be just wuv us non-heterosexuals. In a great little piece on Salon.com titled “It’s Still OK to Hate Joe Lieberman,” writer Alex Pareene notes:

While his opposition to “don’t ask, don’t tell” is one of the handful of positions Joe Lieberman hasn’t reversed himself on, his support for gays in the military is pretty much directly tied to his blood lust. Of course he wants gay people in the military — he wants everyone in the military, and he wants the military everywhere.

He supports the right of every American to serve his or her country regardless of race, creed, color or sexual orientation, and he also supports making those brave young heroes invade and occupy the entire Middle East, forever.

Yup. Lieberman is still one of the top Israel-firsters in Washington, if not the top Israel-firster, and putting Israel’s welfare far above that of his own nation’s is — well, the word for that would be treason. Which is why I always refer to him as Benedict Lieberman.

Nor has Barack Obama redeemed himself for finally fucking having actually fulfilled a campaign promise almost two years into his administration.

Obama still hasn’t done jack shit. Others worked hard, for years, on repealing DADT — not he. He gets to sign the repeal into law, but he’s just the rubber stamp, not the crusader.

The best that the repeal of DADT can do is to perhaps gain non-heterosexuals wider acceptance and more rights in a nation in which in most states they — well, we — don’t have the same human and civil rights as do non-heterosexuals, including the right to marry.

And John “You Damned Kids Get Off of My Damned Lawn!” McCainosaurus — wow. It was Jon Stewart, if memory serves, who compared McCainosaurus to a crazy Japanese soldier still fighting World War II on the island of Japan even after the war had ended.

Even though not a full one-third of the U.S. Senate voted against the repeal of DADT, and almost a full two-thirds of the Senate did vote for the repeal, the petulant, senile McCain ominously huffed and puffed that members of the U.S. military “will do what is asked of them — but don’t think there won’t be a great cost.”

Surely there were such dire, baseless warnings from the white supremacists when the U.S. military was desegregated.

So now McCainosaurus gets to be remembered not only as the right-wing dipshit who shamelessly used his POW experience for political gain during his whole political career (the “logic” was that the poor POW should be made president because he was a poor POW), but now he gets to be remembered as the hateful, spiteful old coot who, after he was rejected for the U.S. presidency (twice), warned of “a great cost” that would accompany the granting of more freedom and equality to historically oppressed and discriminated-against citizens.

Isn’t it about time for Ebenezer McCainosaurus to be visited by four Christmastime ghosts?

Right after they pay their visits to Barack Obama, that is.

P.S. Lest you think that McCainosaurus has the monopoly on bat-shit crazy, The Associated Press reports:

Marine Corps Commandant Gen. James Amos has said he thinks lifting the ban [on openly non-heterosexual military personnel] during wartime could cost lives.

“I don’t want to lose any Marines to the distraction,” he told reporters this week. “I don’t want to have any Marines that I’m visiting at Bethesda (Naval Medical Center) with no legs be the result of any type of distraction.”

Um, the repeal of DADT is going to cost members of the military their legs?

Really?

Really?

How would that happen? Instead of being on watch, male soldiers are going to be distracted from all of that oral and anal sex that they’re having?

Luckily, not every U.S. military leader is that insane. The AP immediately goes on to note:

Adm. Mike Mullen and Marine Gen. James Cartwright, the chairman and vice chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, respectively, have said the fear of disruption is overblown.

They note the Pentagon’s finding that 92 percent of troops who believe they have served with a gay person saw no effect on their units’ morale or effectiveness. Among Marines in combat roles who said they have served alongside a gay person, 84 percent said there was no impact.

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Glenn Beck is NOT just like you (and other observations on the sorry state of the marketplace of ideas)

Wingnut kingpin Glenn Beck, who, despite the cover of his upcoming book (uh, does he actually write any of his books?), is worth tens of millions of dollars, wants you to believe that he’s just like you.

I like to check amazon.com’s top-100-selling books periodically to see how the marketplace of ideas is looking.

Unfortunately, it usually looks like the actual marketplace is looking.

I’m always dismayed to see the number of wingnut titles that make the top 100, and I wonder whether wingnuts really read these books or whether they just get a high from buying them.

At No. 18 on amazon.com as I type this sentence, for instance, is Dinesh Dikshit’s The Roots of Obama’s Rage. On the cover is a stern-looking Barack Obama lacking only horns and a Hitler ’stache. Obama is shaded red to show his rage:

Except that I can’t recall ever seeing Obama enraged. He always plays it as coolly as a cucumber. How would we even know that Obama is angry?

Indeed, Obama apparently has learned to avoid, at all costs, looking like an “angry” black man to the point that he shows about as much emotion as does a Vulcan. (White men, especially rich ones, are allowed to be angry, but a black man, even one living in the White House, isn’t; an angry black man is just violent, out of control, deranged, savage, animalistic, etc., you see.)

The Roots of Obama’s Rage is published by Regnery Press, which publishes only wingnutty dogshit, and on its page on amazon.com, Dikshit’s book is endorsed by Newt Gingrich, who reportedly finds it “stunning.”

I find it stunning, too — stunning that blatant crap like this actually sells.

But probably even worse that Dikshit’s shit is Glenn Beck’s upcoming load of horsecrap titled Broke.

Glenn is on the cover looking broke.

Poor guy.

He feels your pain.

Really.

Except that Wikipedia notes of Beck’s income:

In June 2009, estimators at Forbes calculated Beck’s earnings over the previous 12 months at $23 million, with 2009–2010 revenues on track to be higher. Although the majority of his revenue results from his radio show and books, his website’s 5 million unique visitors per month also provides at least $3 million annually, while his salary at Fox News is estimated at $2 million per year.

Additionally, Beck’s online magazine Fusion sells an array of Beck-themed merchandise, while his website offers a web subscription service called “Insider Extreme” where for $75 a year one gets access to behind-the-scenes footage and a fourth hour of his daily radio show. In April 2010, Forbes calculated Beck’s earnings for the previous year (March 2009 – March 2010) to be $32 million.

They say that money can’t buy happiness, but we should ask Glenn Beck how happy he feels.

Beck’s millions come from Joe-the-Plumber-like dipshits who believe that Beck is one of them. And that they, too, can become a millionaire. Except, of course, that 99.9-repeating percent of them never will. But they’ll buy Beck’s book on how to get rich — which will only make Beck richer.

And I’m sure that Beck’s book, which right now is only at #184 on amazon.com but surely will climb higher in the coming weeks, advises you to buy gold. (Wikipedia also notes of Beck’s income: “Goldline International also sponsors Beck’s radio show and was the exclusive sponsor of Beck’s 2009 comedy tour; their sponsorship has brought Beck criticism.”)

Then there’s The Coming Economic Armageddon: What Bible Prophecy Warns About the New Global Economy, now at No. 69 on amazon.com (because you’d trust a faith healer over a smarty-pants surgeon, right? So fuck those egg-headed economists!), and Crimes Against Liberty: An Indictment of President Barack Obama, which is yet another Obama-hating book (right now at No. 89) with the premise that it’s downright fucking TYRANNY!!! if your stupid white male candidate loses the election but isn’t given the office anyway, as was the case with George W. Bush.

Speaking of the devil, not be outdone, George W. Bush has a book coming out next month, just in time for Christmas:

Called Decision Points, and already at No. 37 on amazon.com’s top 100 right now, I’m guessing from its title that it’s not a coloring book, as I’d have expected from Bush, but that it’s a connect-the-dots book.

But seriously, what don’t we already know about George W. “Decider in Chief” Bush and his Big Decisions?

We know that he decided to steal the 2000 presidential election with the help of his brother (then-Florida Guv Jeb), then-Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris, the wingnuts on the U.S. Supreme Court and some others, and that he decided to launch his illegal, immoral, unjust and unprovoked Vietraq War against the wishes of the United Nations Security Council and against world opinion for the war profits of Dick Cheney’s Halliburton and the other oily war-profiteering subsidiaries of BushCheneyCorp.

And that he decided to ignore the August 2001 presidential daily briefing titled “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.” and the August 2005 presidential daily briefing titled “Hurricane Katrina Determined to Strike in U.S.”

There: I just summed up the Bush II presidency for you. Save yourself some money and buy something that will make you smarter, not dumber, such as the latest by Stephen Hawking, Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, actual economist Robert Reich or even Jon Stewart, whose comedy at least is intelligent.

Because ultimately, dipshittery is treason.

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Assorted shit

Finally, a brilliant move by the Dems

Apparently the Democrats are planning to make the Repugnicans’ refusal to go along with Wall Street reform a centerpiece of their November election strategy.

It’s a brilliant move.

Perhaps spurred on by the attention that Michael Moore brought to the subject in his documentary “Capitalism: A Love Story” (which I reviewed here and which I just watched again on DVD), the Democrats have seized upon the fact that the Repugnicans prefer unfettered financial fraud to any regulations on Wall Street whatsofuckingever.

With so many Americans struggling financially, for them to see, graphically, what the Repugnican Party stands f0r — the interests of the plutocrats, the true elites — around election time should put a significant dent in any gains the Repugnicans otherwise anticipated they’d make.

The Repugnican Party’s insistence on aiding the already filthy rich at the expense of the rest of us should do at the ballot box for the Democrats what the unelected Bush regime’s constant reminder of the “threat” of “terrorism” did for the Repugnicans at the ballot box in 2002 and in 2004.

I’m starting to feel some hope that we’re going to have some change…  

Chuck Crist poised to pull a Benedict Lieberman

I remember the joke that Jon Stewart made when former Democratic U.S. Sen. Joe Lieberman announced that he would run for re-election to the U.S. Senate as an independent candidate (under the newly formed “party” of “Connecticut for Lieberman”after he had lost the Democratic primary to opponent Ned Lamont: Stewart joked that Lieberman had announced that if he lost the Senate election, then he would start his own Senate. (Unfortunately, Lieberman won the 2006 election as an “independent,” but fortunately, this meant that he didn’t have to start his own Senate…)

That’s pretty much what it has come to, with power-hungry, egomaniacal baby-boomer (I know, redundant…) politicians refusing to take no for an answer and wanting to hold on to their power at all costs.

Repugnican Florida Gov. Charlie Crist, who is featured in the excellent documentary “Outrage” as being a probable closet case, is considering running for the U.S. Senate as an independent because his Repugnican primary opponent, wingnut Marco Rubio, has overtaken him in the polls.

Under Florida law, Crist has until April 30 to decide whether to remain in the Repugnican primary or to run for the U.S. Senate as an independent, a la Lieberman. (Under Connecticut law, Benedict Lieberman still was able to run as an independent after he lost the Democratic primary, but Crist does not have that option. [I suppose that Florida can do some things right where the fairness of elections are concerned…].) 

Crist has indicated that he’ll do what’s best for the people of Florida.

Oh, bullshit.

Crist will do what’s best for Crist.

Those who choose to participate in one of the two major parties should accept their fate if their political fortunes fall. Running as an “independent” because one can’t make it in his or her chosen party anymore is one of the refuges of the scoundrel.

It’s no different from phone-tapping

It is lamentable that those making the legal decisions regarding the privacy of employees’ electronic communications (e-mails, text-messages, etc.) are mostly baby boomers (or even older people) who barely fucking understand today’s electronic communications.*

I wholeheartedly disagree that an employer’s mere warning that its employees’ communications may be monitored makes it legal for it to monitor its employees’ communications any more than tapping their telephones is legal (except in certain circumstances, such as at call centers).

And if I give you warning that I might punch you in the face, does that make it legal for me to punch you in the face? Since when does a mere warning make a follow-up action legal?

New communications technology does not mean that the privacy laws that already apply to telephones, for example, don’t apply to that new technology.

The U.S. Supreme Court is deciding this issue now, with new Justice Sonia Sotomayor seeming to be leaning on the side of privacy protection and most of the other justices leaning on the side of Big Brother. 

Fact is, as Sotomayor seems to have indicated, most employers who snoop on their employees just get off on snooping.

Tell you what: When all of us can read the employers’ electronic communications, then maybe they can read ours. 

Um, yeah.

*The Associated Press indicates that Chief “Justice” John Roberts and “Justice” Antonin Scalia apparently don’t even understand how text-messaging works, yet they are poised to rule on whether or not privacy law applies to text-messaging.

Bill Clinton: Can’t we all just get along?

Former President Bill Clinton is quoted by The Associated Press as having said that the United States has an image around the world of having too much political infighting.

God, I’m sick and fucking tired of hearing direct or indirect calls for a national singing of “Kumbaya.”

Much if not most of the opposition to President Barack Obama stems from the fact that he is presiding while black, for fuck’s sake.

I’m supposed to make nice with a bunch of fucking racists and white supremacists? Who hate me and who want to continue to oppress me because I’m gay?

I just don’t fucking think so!

The rest of the world can think what it wants to think.

And Bill Clinton can go kiss all of the wingnut ass that he likes.

I, for one, would rather die than to give the impression that I think that the likes of Sarah Palin-Quayle and Glenn Beck and their fascistic followers are anything less than satanic.

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Must-see: Jon Stewart comments on asshole Glenn Beck’s asshole surgery

“The Daily Show” host Jon Stewart shows clips of Fox “News” propagandist Glenn Beck first talking, in 2008, about how horrible the health-care system is in the United States — the idea is to push patients out as soon as possible, Beck states — and then claiming more recently that the United States “has the best health-care system in the world.”

Stewart even shows us a clip of Beck bemoaning the state of health care in the United States while Beck is in bed at home in January 2008 recovering from some surgery (hemorrhoid surgery or some other “anal procedure,” Stewart tells us).

In the home video, Beck states, “It was one of the most eye-opening experiences of my life to receive health care in the United States.” If the hospital where he was treated doesn’t even care about the president of General Electric (who, Beck states, also has been treated at that hospital), Beck adds, what does the hospital care about “schlubs” like him? (Yeah, Beck is just one of us; all of us have our own major television network show on which we can tell any number of lies with impunity.) 

The clip is a litte more than a week old already, but it’s a must-see, since Beck is one of the wingnut mouthpieces convincing dipshit Americans that adequate health care not only is against their best interests, but actually threatens their liberty and feedom and represents tyranny.

I don’t watch television, since most of it is corporate brain-wasting pap, but this clip alone demonstrates the credibility of baby-boomer asshole Beck, who actually writes books with such titles as Glenn Beck’s Common Sense: The Case Against an Out-of-Control Government, Inspired by Thomas Paine.

Inspired by Thomas Paine?

No, more like inspired by Archie Bunker.

P.S. I did some quick and dirty Internet research on Beck. He’s just another Joe the Plumber to me, albeit a Joe the Plumber who managed to get himself on the TV, so before today I’ve never bothered to look into his background.

Wikipedia notes of Beck: “Beck is a self-described recovering alcoholic and addict. He and his first wife divorced amid his struggle with substance abuse…. [Beck] eventually converted to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints….” The Wikipedia article notes that Beck was raised a Roman Catholic and that his mother and brother committed suicide.

So yeah, Beck is just yet another stupid white man who is channeling all of his toxic waste on the rest of us. Spewing forth right-wing bile is so cathartic and therapeutic!

Yeah, Beck is a real Thomas Paine.

It’s funny, in a terrifying-for-the-future-of-our-nation kind of way, how, to unqualified-to-be-discussing-politics morons like Joe the Plumber and Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh, “common sense” is just whatever bullshit they pull from their egomaniacal stupid white male asses.

P.P.S. Oh, shit. According to The Huffington Post, Beck indeed did have hemorrhoid surgery. I’d thought that Stewart probably was just joking…

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