Tag Archives: Anita Bryant

(Revised:) Mike Huckabee wins the White House!

Repugnican Tea Party douchebag Mike Huckabee announced last night that he isn’t running for president in 2012, but since he’s busy helping to rewrite U.S. history in order to indoctrinate the youngins, hell, he can just write right now that he won the 2012 presidential election and that he was the nation’s Best! President! Ever!

Many others have covered Huckabee’s participation in the selling of really bad cartoons on “American history” for home-schooled kids (such as here and here, and Rachel Maddow has covered it too). The cartoons are so fucking bad that they appear to be parodies by the creators of “South Park,” but oh, they’re not parodies…

The episode that predictably deifies Ronald Reagan (which notes, among other things, that “he worked against Communism in Hollywood” [not that he was a McCarthyite]) has this nice little image:

051211huck.jpg

Yes, that appears to me to be a knife-wielding, menacing mulatto. In the video he apparently commands the good little white kids (who have access to a time machine, but of course as long as we’re still anti-science we’ll never get to that point): “Give me your money!” Subtle!

(If I had written the little video, I might have had the good little white kids retort: “First show us your birth certificate!”)

The Orwellian right-wing attempt to rewrite U.S. history is nothing new. Glenn Beck has the online “Beck University,” and its home page proclaims, “LEARN REAL AMERICAN HISTORY.” (Also on the home page is a link to a nice little video of Glenn titled “Presidents You Should Hate,” because Glenn’s a good little Mormon boy and God wants him to hate and to tell you whom to hate [you have to subscribe to the website to get Glenn’s God-given insight, though…]).

One of “Beck U”’s “professors” — and all of his “professors” appear to be middle-aged to old white men, shockingly — is David Barton, a white wingnut who has thought himself qualified enough to write on rewrite black American history:

I’m thinking that maybe Anita Bryant should write a book on gay and lesbian American history. Perhaps Maggie Gallagher could take some time out of her crusade against marriage between any two consenting adults to be a co-author of the enlightening, setting-the-record-straight (wink wink) historical account.

The radical-right-wing attempt to rewrite U.S. history is chilling, but while I don’t want to underestimate the radical right’s harm to the nation and to the world, I can’t see a day when their “history” ever becomes mainstream. True, our mainstream U.S. history taught to public schoolchildren is whitewashed as it is, more or less teaches our children that the U.S. never can do any wrong (even the many, many episodes of the oppression of minorities are portrayed as just little potholes in the Road to Freedom, you see), but Huckabee’s and Beck’s brand of U.S. “history” is highly unlikely to make it very far outside of its apparent target audience of home-schooling parents.

One child who is home-schooled in wingnuttery is a tragic loss — not only will the successfully brainwashed child be unable to function in a world in which his or her backasswards beliefs are in the minority, but the world will have lost a fully functional human being — but the percentage of parents who would expose their children to stupid white male propaganda thankfully remains small. Most parents want their children to be well-adjusted, functional, productive adults.

Anyway, Huckabee, former Arkansas governor and a former Southern Baptist pastor, has indicated that God doesn’t want him to run for president, but I think that even Huckabee, as off of his rocker as he is, knows that his ilk is a dying breed and that he can’t win the White House. White people who hate non-whites, non-“Christians,” non-heterosexuals and non-Americans and who believe that women should be subservient to men are finding it increasingly difficult to succeed on a national political stage because their numbers are decreasing.

The Internet, too, while it contains a lot of garbage, also has made it increasingly difficult for stupid white men and their supporters to keep the masses ignorant by keeping information unavailable to them. The wingnuts no longer can stem the flow of information as easily as they have in the past.

The wingnuts can put all of the revisionist books and videos out there that they want. I wish them luck in “protecting” their offspring from being exposed to what the saner members of the much larger world believe. This is exactly what they want to do, of course, and thus, home-schooling.

This is, of course, the largest logical weakness of such oppressively closed systems: If the system is so accurate, so true, so right, then why must it shut out the rest of the world? Why must it be so encapsulated?

Anticipating this question from the home-schooled kiddies, apparently, one of Huckabee’s “history” cartoons has one of the kiddie characters declaring (at the triumphant end of a cartoon on World War II): “What we see in here [in their time-machine travels] isn’t always the same as what we read in books or see on TV. So what? We know the truth, and that’s good enough for us!”

Wow. That says so much more than I could continue to say right now.

But I will say good fucking riddance to Mike Huckabee, who never will be president of the United States of America* — except perhaps in his really bad propagandistic cartoons for the kiddies.

*The Associated Press notes:

Ed Rollins, who chaired Huckabee’s 2008 [presidential] campaign and had been talking with fundraisers about a 2012 Huckabee bid, said it would be difficult [for Huckabee] to find another opportunity like this.

“It was all there for him,” Rollins said.

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Take the bimbo hater’s crown away

Miss California Carrie Prejean waves to the crowd as she takes ...

Associated Press photo

Miss California Carrie “Silicon Tits” Prejean — the Anita Bryant for 2009 — waves to the crowd at the “Christo”fascist Dove Awards (for “Christian” and gospel music) in Nashville, Tenn., on April 23. (“Dove Awards.” Funny — they’re much more like wolves than they are like doves…)

OK, up until now I have held my tongue regarding homophobic Miss California Carrie Prejean, who is said to have lost the Miss USA pageant last month to Miss North Carolina at least in large part because when she was asked her position on same-sex marriage, Prejean stated that she opposes it. (“No offense,” she added, because, you see, “Christo”fascists are nice and they do not wish to offend anyone!)

In her defense, Prejean never should have been asked the question (which gay blogger Perez Hilton rather impishly asked her). What does a 21-year-old blonde bimbo from one of California’s red counties know about politics? It was like asking a second-grader to solve a calculus problem.

I don’t use the word “bimbo” lightly.

Fact is, Prejean got breast implants weeks before she competed for Miss USA. We’re not talking about a person of substance here — unless that substance is silicon.

So a bimbo was asked a politically charged question and she responded truthfully — truthfully because she’s a dumbfuck. For her whole life she has been surrounded by “Christo”fascist homophobes — in her “Today Show” interview with Matt Lauer, Prejean won’t shut up about her backasswards religious beliefs, including her belief that God obviously didn’t want her to be Miss USA (because, apparently, God actively concerns Himself with such things) — and so she is a “Christo”fascist homphobe, too. We can’t expect more of a bimbo than to go along with the crowd that she runs with.

For the most part I gave Prejean a pass because I actually felt at least a little sorry for the bimbo who was asked about same-sex marriage. I mean, aren’t pageant bimbos supposed to be asked about incredibly abstract, ridiculously safe things like world peace and buying the world a Coke and singing in perfect harmony?

But now I will unleash on the fake-titted Prejean because she has joined the “Christo”fascist group National Organization for Marriage, which must have been named by someone from the unelected Bush regime, because the National Organization for Marriage is not actually for marriage, but is about hating gay men and lesbians and others who don’t conform to the heterosexual norm and keeping them down.

But “National Organization for Marriage” sure sounds a lot better than does “Fag- and Dyke-Haters of America.”

The National Organization for Marriage’s next ad campaign stars Prejean.

“What happens when a young California beauty pageant contestant is asked, ‘Do you support same-sex marriage?'” NOM says of its anti-gay-and-lesbian ad starring Prejean. “She is attacked viciously for having the courage to speak up for her truth and her values. But Carrie’s courage inspired a whole nation and a whole generation of young people because she chose to risk the Miss USA crown rather than be silent about her deepest moral values.”

Oh, yes, how brave Prejean was to “speak up for her truth and her [deepest moral] values.” How brave it is to attack a historically oppressed minority group! Which makes Prejean a role model for “a whole generation of young people”! Yes, our youth can all go out and get their breast implants and then spew forth irrational hatrednicely, of course! (“No offense!”) — on national television!

What if Miss California had stated on national TV that she felt that mixed-race marriages are wrong? Would that have been OK? Why is it that blatant racism is unacceptable but that it’s still wide open fucking season on gay men and lesbians and others who don’t conform to hetero norms? Why is gay the new black? (Because we always have to have some relatively powerless minority group to kick around in order to feel better about our miserable fucking selves, that’s why — but my questions were mostly rhetorical…)

Prejean says that marriage — heterosexual marriage only — is “something that is very dear to my heart.” Yes, it’s near all of that silicon, too.

It was OK when Prejean simply voiced her misguided, homophobic opinion; it’s her right to be stupid. The right to be stupid is a right that millions upon millions of Americans exercise every day of their lives. But now that Prejean intends to actively campaign against my equal human and civil rights, in my eyes, she has declared war upon me.

The gloves are off now, even though she’s fairly well-protected with all of that silicon.

There has been buzz that because she is aiding and abetting the homo-haters, Prejean might lose her crown as Miss California.

As she should. What if Miss California decided to join the KKK? Yeah, I think she would lose her crown if she joined a white supremacist group. So why should Miss California be able to be an active part of another group of haters (let me remind you that the U.S. House of Representatives just passed the Matthew Shepard Act, a hate-crimes bill that says, correctly, that homo-hatred is hatred) yet still keep her crown?

Take the bimbo hater’s crown away.

Carrie Prejean is a stain on beauty pageants (although I long have thought that beauty pageants, which only encourage things like breast implants, should be scrapped because they cause far more damage than good) and she is a stain on the great state of California.

Carrie “No Offense!” Prejean does not represent me and she does not represent my great state.

She represents only ignorance and hatred, and she now has become an official representative of ignorance and hatred.

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