Is a floundering Boy Scout Pete getting down and dirty to ‘win’?

First, the release of the final Des Moines Register poll of Iowa was quashed because of Pete Buttigieg’s campaign. Then, Buttigieg declared victory in Iowa before even the partial results of the Iowa caucuses were released. Is this all just a coinky-dink? Or is Buttiboy doing his best to rig it in his favor?

You know, it’s beyond just starting to look a bit fishy.

First, the famous final Des Moines Register poll of Iowa — a long-standing fucking political tradition — was not released on Saturday reportedly because a respondent supposedly reported that his or her favored candidate, Pete Buttigieg, was not among the list of candidates he or she was asked about when polled by phone. The New York Times reports that

Lis Smith, a senior adviser to the Buttigieg campaign, said they shared [this] information with the media organizations, which conducted an internal investigation [and then killed the release of the poll]. “We applaud CNN and the Des Moines Register for their integrity,” she wrote on Twitter.

Yes, I’m sure that the Buttigieg campaign was quite happy to have a potentially-damaging-to-their-candidate poll aborted. We just have to trust them that they were telling the truth, that it wasn’t a pre-meditated, well-coordinated lie or even just a misperception by the individual who supposedly reported the “issue.”

Then, even before the Iowa Democratic Party had even released its partial results this afternoon (62 percent of the precincts — pathetic), Boy Scout Pete announced that he’d won the Iowa caucuses.

It had been circulated, you see, that Bernie Sanders might pull something dastardly like this.

To one thing I perhaps can give the benefit of the doubt, but how many Buttiboy-related things are we going to have to witness before we get to conclude that he’s trying to rig this thing?

He has the smarts — he’s a Boy Fucking Genius, remember — and he certainly has the motive: Nationwide, he’s in fifth place in the polling, behind No. 4 Michael Bloomberg. If anyone could use a little boost right now, it’s Buttiboy.

Oh, and those 62-percent-of-the-Iowa-precinct results right now put Buttiboy at 26.9 percent and Bernie at a close second at 25.1 percent. Even if it ends up — after Iowa finally reports 100 percent of the results that we’re still supposed to just trust at this point — that Bernie came in at No. 1 in Iowa after all, here is Buttiboy getting to be viewed as the (at-least-preliminary) winner of Iowa at least for a day.

The good news from Iowa’s preliminary, partial results (assuming that they are accurate…) is that they show Joe Biden at No. 4. As I noted, if Biden doesn’t even make it into the top three in Iowa, I think he’s done. He will be three for three for failed attempts at the Democratic Party presidential nomination. (He first tried in 1988 and then again in 2008.)

In the meantime, we Berners need to keep our eye on Buttiboy.* He is desperate right now, and desperate people sometimes take desperate measures.

*Granted, if Buttiboy is taking some of that center-right, Repugnican-Lite support away from Biden, then perhaps he is serving some greater good right now…

I mean, I still don’t see Buttiboy succeeding past the first few states, but if he can take Biden down with him by eating into Biden’s support in the first few states, that’s great.

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