Why you wanna make me have to defend Michele Bachmann?

In this image released by NBC, Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann, of Minnesota, left, points to a photo of host Jimmy Fallon, dressed as Bachmann, during a visit to "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon," that aired early Tuesday, Nov. 22, 2011 in New York. (AP Photo/NBC, Lloyd Bishop)

Associated Press image

Repugnican Tea Party presidential wannabe U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann, a.k.a. “Lyin’-Ass Bitch,” appears on Jimmy Fallon’s show on November 22, above, and appears at a book-signing event in South Carolina on Saturday, below.

Republican presidential candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-Minn., talks during the book-signing event for her book "Core of Conviction" Saturday, Dec. 3, 2011, in Aiken, S.C.  (AP Photo/Rainier Ehrhardt)

Republican presidential candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-Minn., speaks at the book-signing event for her book "Core of Conviction" Saturday, Dec. 3, 2011, in Aiken, S.C.  (AP Photo/Rainier Ehrhardt))

Associated Press photos

Don’t get me wrong. There’s probably not a single issue on which Repugnican Tea Party lunatic Michele “Eyes Like Deer’s in Headlights” Bachmann and I agree.

But dog-piling upon the theocratic crackpot is fairly unnecessary, as she can’t break even 10 percent in presidential preference polls of members of her own party. (Newt “Lazarus” Gingrich, in case you are wondering, now apparently has a double-digit lead over Mitt Romney in the wake of Herman “Black Walnut” Cain’s exit from the race.)

First, the band for late-night talk-show host Jimmy Fallon (whose show I’ve never watched and most likely never will) played the 1985 Fishbone tune “Lyin’-Ass Bitch” when Bachmann came on stage for her appearance last month.

I’m not saying that Bachmann isn’t a lying-ass bitch. I’m saying that you don’t invite someone to appear on your show and then play a tune like that — even if his or her appearance does amount to a free political advertisement. It’s an incredibly cheesy thing to do. If you feel that way about the individual, then you shouldn’t invite him or her on your show. Your invitation indicates some level of acceptance of the individual, unless you make it clear to the individual that you plan to challenge him or her should he or she accept your invitation.

Even Michele Bachmann didn’t deserve the treatment that she got on Fallon’s show.

And now, there is a viral video of a lesbian mother prompting her 8-year-old son to tell Bachmann at a recent book signing in South Carolina, “My mommy is gay, but she doesn’t need any fixing.”

Again, don’t get me wrong: I agree with the message. I’m a gay man. We non-heterosexuals most definitely don’t need fixing, especially by some homophobic, theocratic lunatic and her closeted husband (whom blogger Joe Jervis hilariously refers to as “Ladybird”). We were born this way. (The majority of us, anyway.) Lady Gaga will tell you.

But in the video, it’s clear that the boy is not comfortable delivering the message, and it’s pretty clear that the message isn’t his, but is his mother’s, and children shouldn’t be used for political purposes like this. It’s a form of child exploitation, whether it’s done by the left or by the right.

It’s OK to have your child with you, I suppose, at an age-appropriate political event (I don’t believe that small children really need to be at anti-abortion events, for instance, since they can’t understand the issue, and they especially don’t need to see images of mangled fetuses, for instance), but to use your child to deliver your political message, such as by having him or her wear a T-shirt or hold a sign with a message that he or she cannot fully understand, or having him or her parrot a message that he or she cannot fully understand, is cheesy.

And in the video, it’s clear that Bachmann is friendly, or at least pretending to be friendly for appearance’s sake, to the child, leaning forward to hear what the child has to say, only to be punk’d again, like she was punk’d on Jimmy Fallon’s show.

I’d as soon as have a member of the Taliban in the White House as I would have a “Christo”fascist like Michelle Bachmann in the White House, but we don’t have to resort to low blows against a candidate who has a snowball’s chance in hell of ever becoming president anyway.

Let’s save it for Mitt and Newt.

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