A dingbat ate my anchor baby!

Ann Cunter parodied on “Saturday Night Live” as a “manserpent”

Gee, I had thought that the cause of our nation’s problems were such parties as the corporations that evade billions and billions of dollars in taxes while we working people sure pay ours, the bloated-beyond-belief military-industrial complex that gobbles up billions and billions of our tax dollars in perpetual wars for the war profiteers while things literally crumble here at home, corporations that spill millions of gallons of oil into the ocean and then are defended by likes of Repugnican Tea Party candidate Ron Paul and Repugnican Big Oil bribe collector Rep. Joe Barton of Texas, and corporations that ran our economy into the ground through their hocus-pocus practices and then got hundreds of billions of dollars in bailout money, because it’s socialism only if needy people get any money. (Wait — according ot the wingnuts, corporations are people, right?)

Oh, and corporate-caused global warming.* 

But I was wrong.

The nation’s economic collapse has nothing to do with the greedy corporate criminals (a phrase that is redundant) who are responsible even for the melting polar ice cap.

No.

It’s the anchor babies.

You haven’t heard of an anchor baby?

Well, that’s because this dire threat to the nation was just discovered by the Repugnican Tea Party (only coinky-dinkily because elections are just around the corner, you fucking cynic).

Seriously, though, how does a dire problem just materialize?

OK, true, the British Petroleum oil spill — which the Repugnican Tea Party says is no big deal stop picking on BP whom we owe an apology because picking on BP is un-American — more or less just materialized, but anchor babies have been with us for a very long time.

“Anchor babies” are babies that non-U.S. citizens give birth to in the United States of America in order, the theory goes, for their parents to claim U.S. citizenship. And the babies’ births are paid for by us, the taxpayers.

Ann Cunter cares passionately about this new-found “issue,” which is the topic of her latest venomfest.

Seriously, though, Cunter has become a fucking caricature.

Just when you thought the acid-for-blood harpy couldn’t get any more evil and vile, now she (and her scaly ilk) are after the poor, brown-skinned people’s babies.

I repeat: Babies.

Again: Babies.

Because Jesus Christ clearly taught that we should persecute babies.

Cunter’s biggest problem with the brown-skinned babies probably is that she isn’t allowed to eat any of them. And I am pretty sure that her jaw detaches from her skull and that her fangs fold back, enabling her to swallow a baby whole.

But just remember, voter, in November, that the nation’s ills have nothing to do with the white-skinned white-collar criminals who have been bleeding this nation dry for decades. (In the past 30 years, since 1980, we’ve had a pro-rich, pro-corporate Repugnican in the White House for 20 of those years, and for the remaining years we’ve had a Repugnican-Lite, corporate-ass-kissing “Democratic” president running the show.)  

No, don’t go after the filthy few rich plutocrats who are so far fucking removed from the damage that they cause the masses that you never even see them.

No, with your torches and pitchforks, go after those brown-skinned anchor babies.

Babies.

Because babies, especially those born to poor, brown-skinned parents, can’t fight back, and it takes real fucking bravery — you know, those cojones that “tea party” princess Palin-Quayle recently was talking about — to attack the weak and the relatively defenseless.

Just like Jesus would do.

*Cold-blooded reptiles love the heat. Maybe that’s why the members of the Repugnican Tea Party love global warming so much…

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1 Comment

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One response to “A dingbat ate my anchor baby!

  1. Joanaroo

    The Tea Party shouldn’t be able to reproduce and its members be sterilized. Where are most from? Red states. Who for the most part gets $2 in federal money for every $1 in taxes paid? Red states. Where do most weather disasters requiring Federal aid occur? Red states. Where do most people prefer to teach abstinence, but where are most illegitimate babies born? Red states? Now, if the Rethugs are bitching about where the jobs are, then that must mean their states have unemployment. Then why do the Rethugs not want unemployment extended? OK, no jobs, no money, no procreatin’ to fill Rev. Billy Joe Jim Bob’s new megachurch! And man, turn off Jim Bob Duggar and his wife’s ovaries and uterus! That uterus is going to be dragging behind her and Jim, condoms aren’t as expensive as diapers! *It’s ovulating time! Here comes Jim Bob! I can see Jim’s pecker poking thru his pants from here! Kid #30 will be next!*

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