Daily Archives: July 4, 2010

KKK U now open for bidness

Can we just crown Glenn Beck as the King of the Dumbfucks already? (Sarah Palin-Quayle can be his queen…)

Just when you think that snake-oil salesman Beck couldn’t take it any further, he now has created “Beck University.” Yup — for $75 a year, you can join his online white supremacist “university” that the Ku Klux Klan would have had had the technology existed back in the day. (I’m not sure what kind of “degree” you might be able to get from KKK U. A bachelor’s in white supremacism, I suppose…)

(That “Beck University” logo is the actual logo that I copied and pasted from Beck’s website, by the way.)

Displayed first under KKK U’s “professor bios” is one David Barton, a white supremacist whose whitewashed books on U.S. history sell fairly well, at least on amazon.com. Right now Barton has this title in amazon.com’s top-100-selling books:

Setting the Record Straight: American History in Black & White

Because who could write the history of black-white American relations better than a conservate white man?*

And thank God for the likes of Barton and Beck, because the white man’s perspective always has been so lacking in the accounts of U.S. history!

Do you think that I’m lying? Amazon.com’s description of David Barton is thusly:

David Barton is the founder of WallBuilders, an organization dedicated to presenting America’s forgotten history and heroes, with an emphasis on our moral, religious, and constitutional heritage. David is author of numerous best-selling works and a national award-winning historian who brings a fresh perspective to history.

Our “forgotten history.” All of the legions of notoriously liberal historians just failed to uncover Barton’s “moral” and “religious” version of U.S. history, you see. And if you don’t know Barton’s stand on the U.S. Constitution, his other books tackle such heady topics as the separation of church and state (which he is against, of course, because he and his ilk want the U.S. to be a patriarchal theocracy, just like Taliban), “original intent” (which, curiously, only Barton and his ilk know), and the Second Amendment (which Barton can’t support enough, of course). He also has written books on the U.S. public education system, which I am sure he opposes, since it doesn’t use his “history” books (since the public schools have been hijacked by liberals, of course).

Barton’s version of U.S. history isn’t just plain fucking wrong or wingnutty or the like. No! He brings a fresh perspective!

This reminds me of an old documentary on white supremacists (“Blood in the Face”) that I saw recently. In the documentary, one of the white supremacists helpfully explains that if a white woman ever gives birth to a child of another race, any of her successive children whose fathers are white will suffer from the genetic contamination that was passed to the mother from the previous non-white father.

This “fact” isn’t in the science books, he insinuates, because of a conspiracy to keep this “fact” out of the science books.

So, when David Barton’s whitewashed, revisionist U.S. history departs from the scholars’ versions of U.S. history, one then has to reconcile this with one of two possibilities, that I can see: Barton is dead fucking wrong, or there indeed is a conspiracy to keep real U.S. history from being told and taught. (The white supremacists, I guess, blame the Jews, the blacks, the feminists and the multiculturists, among others.)

Anyway, upcoming “Beck University” “courses” include “Faith 101,” “Hope 101,” “Charity 101″ and their 102 and 103 follow-ups.

Glenn Beck isn’t known for his subtlety, so you’ll see on his “Beck University” website that “Beck U” has recast the ubiquitous Barack Obama campaign posters with visages of the “founding fathers” instead (in the background in the photos of two more of his “university’s” “professors”):

Replacing President Obama’s face with the face of a white “founding father” is to suggest, of course, that only a (conservative) white man can be a legitimate leader in the United States of America. (For some reason, I don’t think that we’ll see too many “professors” at “Beck U” who aren’t conservative white men…)

That, of course, is the entire purpose of this whole “founding father” resurgence and the revisionist U.S. history bullshit: The stupid white men are petrified that they are losing power to other demographic groups (women, non-whites, non-heterosexuals, non-Christians, non-conservatives, non-capitalists, et. al., et. al.), and therefore they are trying, by attempting to rewrite American history, to reassert that the stupid white man is the natural leader, and the only legitimate leader, in the United States of America.

The silver lining in all of this resurgent white supremacism, I suppose, is that if the stupid white man weren’t on the ropes, he wouldn’t be panicking like he is now.

The stupid white man apparently is terrified of karma — that his historical oppression of others in the United States of America is going to be returned to him by the minority groups he historically oppressed.

This poetic justice, however, is unlikely to unfold, and it seems to me that in the natural flow of events the stupid white man will die out not from violent revolution against him, but from attritition by changing demographics. That is, the stupid white man, unless he bucks the natural course of events, will go out with a whimper, not with a bang.

Of course, the stupid white man, in his paranoia, might necessitate that the rest of us take him out with a bang.

I’m all for that.

If need be.

*I’m reading The History of White People, written by Princeton University professor Nell Irvin Painter — who is black. It’s a well-written history of white supremacism.

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