Assorted shit

The Vatican doesn’t like “Avatar.” Apparently Pope Palpatine is petrified by the very thought of a “new pantheism tinged with neo-paganism, which would see the source of man’s salvation in nature alone.”

Oh, fuck the pope.

The Catholic church isn’t interested in humankind’s enlightenment, liberation or happiness. The Catholic church just wants to continue to keep as many human beings enslaved to it as possible.

The church’s main problem with “Avatar” is that the church just hates the competition.

I am reminded of the scene in “Doubt” in which Meryl Streep’s character of the nun who desperately needs a dildo proclaims that the song “Frosty the Snowman” is inappropriate for the Christmas program because it’s about witchcraft or magic or the like.

Speaking of the Catholic church, The Associated Press reports today that Archbishop Joseph Serge Miot, 63, was killed in yesterday’s devastating earthquake in Haiti. 

As much as I hate the Catholic church, you won’t see me proclaiming that that must have been a sign from God that God hates or that God wished to punish the Catholic church.

Pat Robertson, however, proclaims that Haiti was stricken by the earthquake because Haitians at one point in history “swore a pact with the devil.” (I couldn’t make shit like that up.)

This satanic pact is why Haitians historically have been impoverished, Robertson helpfully explains.

Haiti’s poverty has had nothing to do with its history as a slave colony and with whitey’s history of colonialism and enslavement of African natives. No! It was those Haitians’ pact with the devil!

Um, yeah, I blame the blue-eyed devils for Haiti’s poverty, and I officially move Pat Robertson into my Top 10 Wingnuts Whose Deaths I’d Celebrate List for 2010. He made my 2007 list but didn’t make my 2010 list, but he’s earned a place back on it. I put him at No. 10, with Carrie Prejean and Prick Warren. (Yes, they’re having a very unGodly little three-way.)

Memo to Robertson and Sarah Palin-Quayle and others who claim that they know God’s will: there are quite effective antipsychotics available for that.

Back to “Avatar,” there’s actually a news item about “‘Avatar’-induced depression.” (Yes, soon there will be a head med for that, too.)

Apparently people are getting sucked into the almost three hours of the alternate world of “Avatar” and they hate to have to return to their dull and dreary lives outside of the movie theater.

Get a grip, people. I liked “Avatar,” but its New Agey thing frequently borders on schmaltz. I like most of James Cameron’s films, but I have to suspect that “Avatar” is the “spiritual” film that baby boomer Cameron wanted to make before he dies, and baby boomers have a special way of turning the spiritual into something like Cheez Whiz. (Think “The Secret,” which was huge with the boomers.)

Anyway, memo to those afflicted with “‘Avatar’-induced depression”: If you can’t stand to live in the time and place in which you were born — if you are into Renaissance festivals or into “Star Trek” conventions or the like — then you’re a maladjusted dork. If you’re not a virgin, then you’re probably at least chronically single.

However, if you find that you just can’t get over your “‘Avatar’-induced depression,” might I suggest neo-paganism?

Finally, I was puzzled to read this news item today from The Associated Press:

Washington – President Barack Obama says he has not succeeded in bringing the country together, acknowledging an atmosphere of divisiveness that has washed away the lofty national feeling surrounding his inauguration a year ago.

“That’s what’s been lost this year … that whole sense of changing how Washington works,” Obama said in an interview with People magazine.

The president said his second-year agenda will be refocused on uniting the country around common values, “whether we’re Democrats or Republicans.” …

Uh, only someone who thinks that he or she knows the will of God or who is prone to “‘Avatar’-induced depression” would think that ObamaMan! could have United the Nation in a Single Bound!

Here is a map of the slave states in red and the free states in green:

The map below shows the states won by Obama and Joe Biden in blue and by Repugnicans John McCainosaurus and Sarah Palin-Quayle in red.

ElectoralCollege2008.svg

Now is it me, or do those of the former slave states sure the fuck hold a fucking grudge?

I don’t blame Barack Obama that the nation isn’t united. I blame the backasswards, racist/white supremacist, mouth-breathing fucktards who voted for McCainosauraus in November 2008 and who think that Sarah Palin-Quayle would make a great fucking president! (After all, she says that God says so!)

The white supremacists are never going to accept Obama, and this white guy sure the fuck is never going to accept the white supremacists, so the nation is just going to have to remain divided.

Hell, I’m even for the red states’ secession. Then my great state of California will get back $1 for every $1 that it puts into the federal government kitty, instead of the paltry 78 cents that it receives, with the rest of our money going to keep the podunk states afloat (like Sarah Palin-Quayle’s Alaska, which gets almost $2 in return for every $1 that it puts into the federal piggy bank).

Anyway, if Obama truly thought that he could unite the nation (which I doubt), then he needs to have his ego surgically reduced. Anyone else who truly thought that he could unite the nation should see about the possibility of watching an endless loop of “Avatar.”

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