Glenn Beck is No. 1!
The May 2007 death of Jerry Falwell inspired me at that time to compose a “Top 10 Wingnuts Whose Deaths I’d Celebrate List.” It seems to be that time of year for top-10 lists, and the great news that Rush Limbaugh is in the hospital for chest pains has inspired me to revisit and revamp my list.
In May 2007 my list of Top 10 Wingnuts Whose Deaths I’d Celebrate was as follows:
1. Dick Cheney
2. George W. Bush
3. Karl Rove
4. Donald Rumsfeld
5. Rudy Giuliani
6. Ann Cunter
7. Rush Limbaugh
8. Pope Palpatine
9. James Dobson
10. Pat Robertson
My Top 10 Wingnuts Whose Deaths I’d Celebrate for 2010 are (drum roll, please):
1. Glenn Beck
2. Dick Cheney
3. Sarah Palin
4. George W. Bush
5. Rush Limbaugh
6. Karl Rove
7. Pope Palpatine
8. John McCainosaurus
9. Benedict Lieberman
10. Tie: Carrie Prejean and Prick Warren
New to the list are Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, John McCainosaurus, Benedict (a.k.a. Joe) Lieberman, Prick (a.k.a. Rick) Warren and Carrie Prejean.
As I’ve noted before, dry drunk Beck has a face that I’d like to punch. I know that Dick Cheney has done a lot more damage to the nation and the world than Beck has, but I really, really, really hate Glenn Beck. He is pure evil — a mixture of stupidity, bigotry and arrogance that is unmatched in the wingnut world. My hatred of him is visceral.
George W. Bush also has done a lot more damage to the nation and the world than Sarah Palin has, but I fucking hate Sarah Palin and everything that she stands for. (OK, Levi Johnston is a hottie. If he ran for president I might consider him.)
Bush and Cheney are a little lower on the list than they used to be because they’re out of office, but Cheney is above Bush on both lists because we all know that he really pulled the strings.
Karl Rove remains on the list because he and fellow Gee Dubya puppeteer Cheney Cheney are still appearing on television all the time criticizing the Obama administration. If they’d just go the fuck away, like Donald Rumsfeld and Rudy Giuliani did, they might not still be on my list.
John McCainosaurus didn’t appear on my 2007 list because I didn’t expect him to get the 2008 nomination, but he did. And because he also keeps criticizing the Obama administration, as though the BushCheneyCorp had done a great job from early 2001 to early 2009, and even though the American voters picked Obama over him by 7 percentage points, McCainosaurus makes this year’s list.
The pope just refuses to die — I think that sheer spite, his desire to drag the entire world back to the dark ages, keeps him going — and he goes up one notch this year. (I know, you think it’s awful that I include the pope, but he and his backasswards wingnutty views fuck up millions of people around the globe.)
Benedict Lieberman needs no explanation if you have been paying attention at all. I heard that Al Gore stated that he doesn’t regret that he’d picked Benedict as his running mate for his 2000 presidential run. I don’t believe that.
Dropped from the list are James Dobson and Pat Robertson, about whom you don’t hear much anymore, and in their place is Prick Warren and Carrie Prejean, who (along with Sarah Palin) seem to be the new faces of the remnants of what passes for Christianity for way too many Americans. I hate Prick Warren and Carrie Prejean, and since they have so much in common — the whole faux Godliness thing — I put them at tied for 10th place.
You might be surprised that Ann Cunter has dropped from the list. Oh, don’t get me wrong; I still fucking hate Ann Cunter. But Glenn Beck seems to have knocked her out of the limelight entirely.
So I would put her at No. 11, except that this is a top-10 list.
Maybe next year, Ann.
P.S. If you think that I’m missing anyone or you’d make any changes to my list for 2010, feel free to leave a comment below.
P.P.S. I will make a pre-emptive strike and state that I am immune to any criticism that my composing such a top-10 list is “inappropriate.” I mean, oh puhfuckinglease if you think that there aren’t a bunch of people the wingnuts would want dead, such as Nancy Pelosi, Michael Moore and, of course, Barack Obama (but not because he’s black, of course!).
P.P.P.S.: Honorable mentions for 2010: Joe Wilson, the fucktarded U.S. representative from South Carolina who yelled out “You lie!” during President Obama’s nationally televised address to Congress on health care, and Meg Whitman, the billionaire bitch who is trying to buy the governorship of California (the gubernatorial election will be in November 2010). I imagine that we Californians will hear a lot more from her in the coming months. What we’ve heard from her thus far (she has declared war upon state government workers and the environment) has been nothing short of pathetic.
2 responses to “Top 10 Wingnuts Whose Deaths I’d Celebrate, 2010 Edition”
Robert, I have to say I am completely on board with your list. I have, for years now, been telling everyone and anyone that Glenn Beck is an evil SOB. He would do or say anything simply for ratings and those who believe he is at all a patriot or gives a damn about our country has their head up their arse. Having worked with him in the past I have seen first hand that Glenn Beck is only out for Glenn Beck.
Hey, you might like the haiku I composed for Glenn Beck:
I’m praying for the
Second Coming: can’t wait to
see Christ kick Beck’s ass.
I’m an agnostic, but I’d welcome Christ back if I could see that.