Daily Archives: April 19, 2009

Even more on the ‘teabaggers’

Via Tom Tomorrow I found a hilarious blog post by a guy in Indiana who reports that he pretended to be a wingnut in order to “infiltrate” and take pictures of one of the wingnuts’ “tea party” rallies of last week.

The blogger (who calls himself Ed and whose blog is ginandtacos.com) writes:

So my good friend Scott pointed out that for all of my talk about teabaggin’, I was strangely ambivalent about the opportunity to see one in the flesh. Well, my inner anthropologist and innate love of freaks won out in the end.

Resolved: I would walk freely among the teabaggers, pretending to be one so that I might learn of their ways.

The first question was if I could successfully infiltrate them. I’d need something like a Soldier of Fortune T-shirt, a bandana, a ratty old Army coat, and the ability to look like a mouth-breather with an IQ of 98.

(Actually, 98 is an average IQ, but you get the idea…)

The blogger posted the results of his undercover “research,” which I reproduce here as a copy and paste:

But what would we see there? Would there be misspellings? 

descent

Oh HELLSYEAH there would be misspellings. (If that’s not clear, the patriot’s sign reads, “Remember descent the highest form of patriotic.”) He sign make good! Was that an isolated example of poor facility with the English language?

misspell1

I have a theory that you should never protest against something until you can spell it correctly. I must admit that I got a chuckle out of “Don’t Tax Me, Bro.” But now for the important questions: Would there be racist signs? Come on, tell me there would be racism.

racism

Ha ha ha! Home-schooled rural Indiana kids hold the darnedest signs.

Would there also be wingnuttery? Would there be old people? White ones?

birthcert

Guys hawking guns? Well, he knows his audience!

guns

Yes, it was quite the human zoo. The thing is, everyone looked like they were having so much fun being furious, bitching, moaning and directing all sorts of hate at the concept of taxation.

I decided to give it a try with some archaic flags as a backdrop.

p41500491

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I AM SO MAD ABOUT MY ENTIRELY REASONABLE TAX BURDEN WHICH IS THE SMALLEST IN THE INDUSTRIALIZED WORLD AND WILL GET SMALLER THANKS TO THE NEW PRESIDENT!

Good times.

And now a word about the event. First, I must give non-ironic, sincere props to the event attendees. The weather was lousy and there were at least 150 people there. I tip my hat to that. Good turnout. The consensus estimates among my cohort (me, Liz, Scott, Amanda, Patti and Will) was somewhere between 150 and 200 attendees. That is respectable; now let’s get a good chuckle out of how ridiculously they inflate it.

The event itself lasted about four minutes. A guy with a bullhorn led the Pledge of Allegiance and gave a “speech” that lasted just long enough to pop a bag of microwave popcorn. At this point about half of the crowd left. Literally, they sighed a collective “OK, I’ve done my part” and ambled back to their SUVs.

What remained was a smaller number of vocal sign-wavers who lined a street that receives very little traffic and shouted at passing cars. They seemed to be mistaking the horn honks and waves as an upswell of support, but I think most of the passersby were making fun of them.

In summary, the crowd was decently sized, 99.9% white, 90% over 60 or under 6, 50% cowboy-hatted, and REALLY angry about … something. It was far from a grassroots political movement. It was a bunch of people who overcame their revulsion toward other people long enough to stand in the same place for 180 seconds before disbanding and rushing to the nearest Waffle House.

No real media showed up and, in a not-coincidence I’ll have much more to say about next week, there was no police presence. I guess big groups of white people without permits don’t necessitate quite as many angry cops as an anti-war rally!

It was an honest oversight, I’m sure. Just remember, this is the face of real America, and the face of a new revolution sweeping the nation. Look upon it and tremble: 

p41500481

Yes, there is the mention of the wingnutty conspiracy theory that President Obama isn’t a bona fide U.S. citizen, and thus could not have been elected president, although, of course, the same Repugnican-dominated U.S. Supreme Court that simply handed the presidential election to George W. Bush in late 2000 surely would have intervened at the wingnuts’ behest if there truly were a problem with Obama’s citizenship.

And I love the “capitalism = prosperity” sign. Because look how great the United States of America is doing under capitalism right now! (To be a Repugnican or a wingnut, you have to believe that up is down and down is up. George Orwell is spinning in his grave like a top on crack.) 

Anyway, blogger Ed rocks. I love his “infiltrator’s” outfit and his line, “I AM SO MAD ABOUT MY ENTIRELY REASONABLE TAX BURDEN WHICH IS THE SMALLEST IN THE INDUSTRIALIZED WORLD AND WILL GET SMALLER THANKS TO THE NEW PRESIDENT!”

Yes, I agree with Ed that the “DON’T TAX ME BRO” sign (modeled after “Don’t taze me, bro!”) is funny (just as a broken clock displays the correct time twice a day, sometimes the wingnuts actually can manage to be funny), although I’ve seen the sign elsewhere, and although as photographed above it of course lacks the punctuation that Ed so generously gave it.*

And “Don’t tax me, bro!” is funny although, as I recently pointed out, most of the solidly red states** actually receive more than $1 from the federal government for every $1 that they pay into the federal government, while most of the solidly blue states receive less than $1 from the fed for every $1 that they give the fed, so for the denizens of these red states actually to be pissing and moaning that they are overtaxed by the federal government is beyond surreal. 

As I said, let’s let these red-state “revolutionaries” secede and see how well they succeed without us blue-staters who keep their sorry asses afloat.

*Speaking of incorrect punctuation and spelling, I do believe that it was Ted Rall who once quipped that the future belongs to those who can spell

**I define a “solidly red state” as a state that went to George W. Bush in 2004 and to John McCainosaurus in 2008 and a “solidly blue state” as a state that went to John Kerry in 2004 and to Barack Obama in 2008.

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This is what DIPLOMACY is SUPPOSED to look like

President Barack Obama, left, shakes hands with Venezuela's ...

Associated Press photo

U.S. President Barack Obama shakes hands with Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez before the opening session of the 5th Summit of the Americas in Port of Spain, Trinidad and Tobago, on Friday. Former U.S. “President” George W. Bush, whose right-wing regime most likely was behind the failed 2002 right-wing coup attempt against the democratically elected Chavez, had refused to meet with Chavez, whom the unelected Bush and the members of his regime hypocritically falsely branded a “dictator.”

The wingnuts must be agog that President Barack Obama — gasp! — shook hands with socialist Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez at this weekend’s meeting of Latin American national leaders.

Chavez was hypocritically falsely branded by the members of the murderous, unelected Bush regime as a dictator,” yet while Chavez actually was elected democratically and fairly by the people of Venezuela — yes, the majority of the people of a nation can vote for socialism, as capitalism is not the only economic model, despite what you hear on Fox “News” — the members of the Bush regime, who committed war crimes and crimes against humanity, never were fairly and democratically elected, but blatantly stole office.

Chavez’s big crime”? He consistently has refused to kiss U.S. ass and has stood up for the best interests of his people, which they elected him to do, instead of selling his people out to the corporations, like a good” little Latin American leader should” (and like the members of the Bush regime sold the American people out to corporate interests).

Chavez had good cause to villify the unelected, dictatorial George W. Bush and his regime: the anti-democratic Bush regime most likely was behind the illegal, anti-democratic, right-wing capitalist coup that in 2002 removed the democratically elected Chavez from power for no more than a few days before the historically oppressed Venezuelan people who had elected Chavez rose up against the treasonous ring-wing usurpers and returned Chavez to power.

The autocratic rule that the right-wing capitalist coup leaders had tried to impose on the people of Venezuela, stripping them of their democratic choices of Chavez and their nation’s new constitution, received the full blessing of the members of the unelected Bush regime, who love democracy only when the results of elections go their way (which they demonstrated amply in late 2000).

That little history lesson was necessary because all that Americans are supposed to “know” about Chavez (and the likes of the pro-plutocratic Fox News” gladly help them to know”) is that he is a murderous” dictator,” even though he repeatedly has been elected democratically and it has not been documented that he ever had a single political opponent executed.

The history lesson concluded, let me point out now that it is the job of President Obama to be his nation’s top diplomat.

That means things like shaking hands with other nations’ top leaders, and as one political news analysis pointed out, a handshake is just a handshake; a handshake indicates only a willingness to talk, a willingness to be diplomatic. Obama’s shaking hands with a national leader does not mean that Obama agrees with everything that that leader believes, and nor does a handshake signify Obama’s subservience to any other nation’s leader.

After eight long nightmarish years of the unelected Bush regime’s and its supporters’ idea of diplomacy” — which is as correct as are their Orwellian ideas of democracy” and freedom” and the like — too many of the American people need to be reminded of what diplomacy is supposed to look like. 

It looks like the news photo above.

Diplomacy is not refusing to even talk to other nations that won’t bend over and take orders from the United States like “good” nations should. That is the members’ of the Bush regime and the wingnuts’ idea of “diplomacy,” but George W. Bush was an ugly anomaly in the White House, a dark blight on American history; he radically deviated from the presidential norms, to which Barack Obama simply is returning.

P.S. I have to note that during their summit, Chavez gave Obama a copy of the book Open Veins of Latin America: Five Centuries of the Pillage of a Continent by Uruguayan writer Eduardo Galeano (as pictured below).

Venezuela's President Hugo Chavez, right, hands President Barack ...

Associated Press photo

The paperback edition of the book, pictured below, which until very recently was quite obscure to American readers, as I type this sentence sits at No. 2 on amazon.com’s best-selling book list.

It would be fucking hilarious if the book supplants the wingnut book that has been at No. 1 on amazon.com for some time now, Liberty and Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto, the stupid white male author of which I am sure is perfectly fine with the continued capitalist/corporate exploitation of Latin America, because to the wingnuts it’s “liberty” and “freedom” when the capitalist plutocrats exploit the masses and it’s “tyranny” when the masses actually fight back against their plutocratic overlords and gain true freedom and democracy.

  

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