Let’s let the parasitic red states go

Repugnican Texas Gov. Rick Perry is coming as close to threatening to secede from the Union that he can without actually using the “s” word.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Those red states that want to secede — let’s blue-staters let them.

The red states are nothing but a drag on the blue states anyway. Not only do the red states cause us blue-staters international embarrassment, but they’re a huge drain on us financially as well.

For all of the red staters’ bitching and moaning about having to pay taxes and how horrible welfare is, most of the solidly red states* receive more from the federal government than they contribute to the federal government.

For fiscal year 2005, the latest year for which I was able to find figures, for every $1 that Repugnican Gov. Haley Barbour’s state of Mississippi gave the federal government, it received $2.02 from the federal government in return. A 202 percent return ain’t bad! Repugnican Gov. Sarah Palin-Quayle’s Alaska? $1.84 — you betcha! Repugnican Gov. Bobby Jindal’s Louisiana? $1.78. Yet all three of these Repugnican governors have balked at accepting even more money for their states from the federal government — not because their states hate to receive federal money, obviously, but apparently because it’s Democratic President Barack Obama, the nation’s first black president, who is offering it.  

The list goes on: In 2005 West Virginia got back $1.76 for every $1 that it contributed. North Dakota: $1.68. Alabama: $1.66. South Dakota: $1.53. Kentucky and Virginia: $1.51. Montana: $1.47. Arkansas: $1.41. Oklahoma: $1.36. South Carolina (whose Repugnican governor also has balked at accepting even more federal money for his state): $1.35. Missouri: $1.32. Tennessee: $1.27. Idaho: $1.21. Repugnican presidential wannabe John McCainosaurus’ Arizona: $1.19. Kansas: $1.12. Wyoming: $1.11. Nebraska: $1.10. Utah: $1.07. Georgia: $1.01.

All of those states went to George W. Bush in 2004 and to McCainosaurus in 2008, with the exception of Virginia, which in 2008 went to Obama, so I guess it’s purplish.

So that’s 21 states that went to Bush in 2004 and to McCain in 2008 that in 2005 received more than $1 from the fed for every $1 that they contributed to the fed.

Only a handful of solidly blue states in 2005 received more than $1 from the fed for every $1 that they contributed: Hawaii ($1.44); Maine ($1.41); Maryland ($1.30); Vermont ($1.08); and Pennsylvania ($1.07).

The purple state of New Mexico (it went to Bush in 2004 and Obama in 2008), for whatever reason or reasons, got the most bang for its buck from the fed in 2005: $2.03 in return for every $1 that it contributed. Other purple states that got back more than $1 in 2005 are Virginia, as I mentioned already; Iowa (Bush 2004, Obama 2008; $1.10); North Carolina (Bush 2004, Obama 2008; $1.08); and Indiana and Ohio (both Bush 2004, Obama 2008; and both $1.05).

The list of states that in 2005 got back less than $1 from the fed for every $1 contributed to the fed — the states that are supporting the rest of the nation — is overwhelmingly blue.

New Jerseyans get screwed, blued and tattooed the worst, with a return of only 61 cents on every $1. Next up is the purple state of Nevada (Bush 2004, Obama 2008), with only 65 cents. Then follow the solidly blue states of Connecticut (69 cents), New Hampshire (71 cents), Minnesota (72 cents), Illinois (75 cents), Delaware (77 cents), and population powerhouses California and New York (78 cents and 79 cents, respectively).

Purple Colorado (Bush 2004, Obama 2008) got only 81 cents for every $1. True-blue Massachusetts got 82 cents; Wisconsin, 86 cents; Washington state, 88 cents; Michigan, 92 cents; and Oregon, 93 cents.

The only state that went to Bush in 2004 and to McCain in 2008 that in 2005 received less than $1 from the feds for each $1 that it gave the feds was Texas, with a return of 94 cents on the dollar.

Purple state Florida (Bush 2004**, Obama 2008) in 2005 got 97 cents back for every $1.

Only the blue state of Rhode Island broke perfectly even, with $1 received for every $1 contributed.

Looking at the 2005 figures for all 50 states, which are in a table below, it’s pretty clear which states need the other states the most.

Again, of the solidly red states, Texas did the best in 2005, and it gave up only six cents of every dollar that it gave to the federal government, contrasted to blue states like California and New York, which gave up 22 cents and 21 cents, respectively.

If the red states want to secede and make Texas their fucking capital, as Texas’ governor seems to be offering, that’s fucking great by me.

Once the red states — which are fucking parasites on the blue states yet have the fucking gall to complain that they pay too much in taxes — have seceded from the union, then I, as a Californian, will actually start to see significantly more for my federal tax dollar than I do now.

Please, Texas, go — and take the rest of the red states with you. We blue-staters will miss you about as much as a dog would miss its ticks, fleas and worms. 


State FY 2005 Federal Spending per $1 of Federal Taxes Rank
New Mexico $2.03 1
Mississippi $2.02 2
Alaska $1.84 3
Louisiana $1.78 4
West Virginia $1.76 5
North Dakota $1.68 6
Alabama $1.66 7
South Dakota $1.53 8
Kentucky $1.51 9
Virginia $1.51 10
Montana $1.47 11
Hawaii $1.44 12
Maine $1.41 13
Arkansas $1.41 14
Oklahoma $1.36 15
South Carolina $1.35 16
Missouri $1.32 17
Maryland $1.30 18
Tennessee $1.27 19
Idaho $1.21 20
Arizona $1.19 21
Kansas $1.12 22
Wyoming $1.11 23
Iowa $1.10 24
Nebraska $1.10 25
Vermont $1.08 26
North Carolina $1.08 27
Pennsylvania $1.07 28
Utah $1.07 29
Indiana $1.05 30
Ohio $1.05 31
Georgia $1.01 32
Rhode Island $1.00 33
Florida $0.97 34
Texas $0.94 35
Oregon $0.93 36
Michigan $0.92 37
Washington $0.88 38
Wisconsin $0.86 39
Massachusetts $0.82 40
Colorado $0.81 41
New York $0.79 42
California $0.78 43
Delaware $0.77 44
Illinois $0.75 45
Minnesota $0.72 46
New Hampshire $0.71 47
Connecticut $0.69 48
Nevada $0.65 49
New Jersey $0.61 50
Source: Tax Foundation, Census Bureau


*I define a “solidly red state” as a state that went to George W. Bush in 2004 and to John McCainosaurus in 2008 and a “solidly blue state” as a state that went to John Kerry in 2004 and to Barack Obama in 2008.

**Well, Al Gore actually won Florida in 2004, but the “official” results are that Bush won Florida in 2004. 

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