Heather Fargo for mayor of Sacramento

  

Associated Press photos

Former jock Kevin Johnson is challenging two-term Mayor Heather Fargo for the leadership of Sacramento.

I’m not crazy about Democratic Party establishment candidate Heather Fargo, who is seeking her third term as the mayor of Sacramento. (I’m not crazy about any Democratic Party establishment candidate.)

But I’m much less crazy about Fargo’s opponent, political neophyte Kevin Johnson.

First off, I have a problem with jocks entering politics, as I just wrote, and Johnson is a former NBA player. It seems to me that when jocks are washed up, they think of politics as another avenue with which to bolster their egos. (Millionaires also tend to turn to politics when they don’t know what else to do with themselves.) 

So Johnson would have had to overcome my loathing of jocks who enter politics more to masturbate their egos than to actually help anyone out through the use of political power.

The latest Johnson scandal — he’s a scandalous dude — is that with the cooperation of a security guard Johnson tried out the mayor’s chair last month after city hall was closed. Can you say “ego”?

I wasn’t planning to vote for Johnson anyway, but his latest antics have sealed my vote for Fargo. (In the primary election I strategically voted for Muriel the Bearded Chicken Lady.)

Johnson, far from being a Barack Obama type, strikes me more as a thug.

Oh, and just as Ahhhnuld Schwarzenegger is shockingly short, Kevin Johnson’s campaign office is in my neighborhood and I’ve passed him twice on the sidewalk near his campaign office. Johnson is so short that it’s hard to see how he was an NBA player.* In case you were wondering.

*This source puts him at 6’1″, but he didn’t seem that tall to me.

Schwarzenegger is equally girly

Associated Press photo

While Repugnican California Gov. Ahhhnuld Schwarzenegger, who is quite the intellectual, calls Barack Obama “scrawny,” California first lady Maria Shriver said of Obama: “If Barack Obama was a state, he’d be California: diverse, open, smart, independent, bucks tradition. Innovative. Inspirational. Dreamer. Leader.” (Shriver is shown above with Michelle Obama, Caroline Kennedy and Oprah Winfrey in Los Angeles in February, when Shriver enthusiastically endorsed Obama.)

So Repugnican California Gov. Ahhhnuld Schwarzenegger calls our next president, Barack Obama, “scrawny.”

In Ohio yesterday, besides calling Obama a “spread-the-wealth” “socialist” — my Goddess, those Repugnicans march together in lockstep better than did the Nazis; they’ve beaten the “socialist” thing so far into the ground that it’s now somewhere in China — Schwarzenegger remarked that Obama “needs to do something about those skinny legs. We’re going to make him do some squats. And then we’re going to go and give him some biceps curls to beef up those scrawny little arms.” 

This is why jocks never should be elected to public office. (Of course, the recall election that put Schwarzenegger in the governor’s seat was quick and dirty, but that’s another blog post.)

How fucking embarrassing it is to have such a dumbfuck as Schwarzenegger as the governor of my state aside, however, he’s a fucking hypocrite, too:

I saw Schwarzengger in person here in Sacramento a few years ago when he came to my workplace.

My retarded co-workers were all excited about his celebrity and they wanted to shake his hand, but I didn’t want to touch him, as my policy is not to touch known Repugnicans; I just wanted to see what he looks like in person.

Schwarzenegger, with his bodyguards around him, stood within feet of me as I stood in the crowd, and he shook other people’s hands while I checked him out.

Right off I noted that he’s no taller than I am, and I am shorter than six feet. The second thing that I noted is that he has remarkably skinny legs. You could see this right through his suit pants.

As far as his upper body is concerned, it was hard to tell how buff he still is or isn’t, since those suit shoulder pads fill out just about anyone.

Schwarzenegger is quite unimpressive in person. He looks nothing as he has looked in his testosterone movies; in fact, the real-live Ahhhnuld in comparison to the big-screen Ahhhnuld is quite scrawny. He’s short and he has the chicken legs that he says Obama has. And Schwarzenegger looked a bit orange, if memory serves; a fake Southern California tan, I’m guessing.

What California’s first lady Maria Shriver — who has enthusiastically and quite publicly endorsed Barack Obama — sees in Ahhhnuld I have no idea.

I wonder if she voted for him two years ago…

P.S. Here’s a news pic of Ahhhnuld from last month: Note the skinny legs and that orange glow that I was talking about.

Associated Press photo